The Refiner’s Fire.

“He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” Malachi 3:3

I have heard this story before, but recently someone forwarded it to me. She had no idea that the refiner’s fire seems to be my life right now. Maybe it is yours, as well. Read this story and remember, Only the most precious of things must endure the refiner’s fire.

“This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what
this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and
get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to
watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her
interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire
and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to
hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest
as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she
thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and
purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit
there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the
silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was
in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it
would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How
do you know when the silver is fully refined?”

He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image
in it.”

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has
his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in
you.”

Fun Friday: God’s Infinite Wisdom

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while wife stayed home with the kids. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

“Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife gets to stay at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.รขโ‚ฌย

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as his wife.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their
school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaining.


The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though because last night you got pregnant.”

Have a great weekend! I am off for vacation…GIRLS TRIP! (Because my husband knows he does not want to swap places, and appreciates all I do ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Thankful Thursday

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, [and] into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, [and] bless his name. Psalm 100:4

I have not written a “Thankful Thursday” in a while, so I thought today I would.

I am thankful for rainy Sunday afternoons. (I am actually writing this on a Sunday afternoon. Everyone is taking a nap, and my husband has piano music playing. It is the most peaceful I have felt in awhile!)

I am thankful for rainy Summer days. It is always a perfect day. (The air is a little cool inside, and you can curl up with your kids and watch a good movie, or read some great books. Don’t forget the cozy blanket, and the hot tea. Mmmmm!)

Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. (1Chronicles 16:8 NIV)

I am thankful for my wonderful husband. I have said it before, but it bears repeating. He is always supportive of wherever my dreams take me, brings calm to my emotions, and truly appreciates me and values me as a true partner, a side by side companion. (In fact, I will leave him in a few days from this post to go on a girls trip to Florida, he will be keeping both of my girls…for a week! What a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man!)

I am thankful for friends that “stick closer than a brother”.(and sister ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) I am blessed with too many to name them all. But those that are so dear to me, Tracy and Mike Hurst, Katrina Little, Rich and Adina Fiallo, and my “Carolina Girls” – You know your names.ร‚ย  The Proverbs says He who has found one friend is blessed. I am blessed beyond measure!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. (1Chronicles 16: 34 NIV)

I am thankful for sunny summer days by the swimming pool, enjoying my girls.

I am thankful for my girls, they make me smile every day.

I am thankful for school starting back! No explanation necessary.

What are you thankful for??…

Healing Your Mind

I was listening to Joyce Meyers the other day. She was speaking about changing your thinking, and changing your negative words. She said she grew up in a very negative home. She thought that being negative was normal. As God began dealing with her on the power of her words, she knew she had to change her thoughts, and what she was declaring over her life. She decided to take action.

Now, I have written about Ben and my “dream board”. (click the link to read more) , Joyce has taken it a step further. You may have heard this before: Write out the things you are believing God to do in your life. Here is an example from mine: “I want God to do a miracle in our finances, and I want to have more than enough so that I can be blessed and bless others.” Once you have written out what you are believing for, then you need to find scripture to back it up. Like Malachi 3:10-11 “Bring your full tithe to the Temple treasury so there will be ample provision in my temple. Test me in this and see if I don’t open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessing beyond your wildest dreams…” or 2 Corinthians 9: 11 says “He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God. ”

Not only do I have what I want, but God’s word that tells me I can have it! I can stand on it, confess it, and believe for it to happen. I know that this is something God wants for me. Speaking these things over your life will change your thinking, and change your life. Joyce said that everything she had on her list she is now walking in today.

This is not magic, or “name it – claim it” . It is simply renewing your mind to the perfect will of God in your life. (Romans 12:2) If you need healing in your body, your finances, or your relationships, whatever it is, you must first “heal” your mind of the destructive thought patterns.

I have put this off, and when I finally sat down and made myself do it, I was excited to find all that I did. God really does want me to have all the things I want. So don’t put it off, find what God wants for your life. (Remember blueletterbible.org is a great place to start if you need to research a subject)

“Questions” and Answers to Spanking

Recently, on a social site I frequent, I read the following “questions” a mom was asking concerning spanking:

You know, the question of whether to discipline by physical means – slapping, smacking, spanking etc has been raised a few times lately. I am not judging anybody who chooses to use these means of discipline, however these are some questions that have been going round and round in my head today…

1. At what age do people decide it is ok to do this to their infant/child?
2. At what age would they cease doing this to their child/teenager?
3. How would they feel if somebody else disciplined their child in this manner?
4. Do they consider that if they did the same to their spouse – that it would be domestic violence?
5. What if they did it to someone outside the family – then it would be assault?
6. Have they tried alternative forms of discipline?
7. Don’t they worry that their children will fear them – not respect them?
8. When does spanking change from strict discipline to abuse?
9. How successful is this form of punishment – does the child learn a lesson from what they did wrong – or do they only remember the punishment?
10. What gives us the right to inflict pain on our offspring, when it would be illegal to do it to anyone else?
11. Why would we want to inflict pain on our own children, when we have so many alternatives available?
12. What kind of example is being provided to them, by using corporal punishment – what have they learned?

Here is my response: I always think it is interesting that when people say “I am not judging anybody…” They usually proceed to do just that. I can not tell everyone what is right or wrong in their own family. But I can say that bruises, bleeding, or permanent damage is definitely a boundary. Mine is we DO NOT hit in anger, period. Any corporal punishment is done in control, and as controlled as any of the other many methods we use like time out, or logical consequence. Someone once told me that they thought time out was bad. They felt like you were saying “You have been bad so you do not get to be around me.” Which of course I, along with many others, would disagree with this opinion. That is the point, it is an opinion.

Yes, I do think spanking my children has produced results, and I think that the most important thing in discipline and teaching them a lesson is the follow up. WHY they got a spanking, and WHY what they did is wrong. Just like any discipline technique.

As far as them remembering the punishment, isn’t that the point? If you get a speeding ticket why do you decide not to speed anymore. You knew it was wrong to begin with, but now you fear the punishment. (Which is another point. This is when a spanking may be in order in our home. According to Dr. James Dobson, spanking should be used when it is a direct defiance of the rules.

As a Christian I find scripture to be my guideline. Proverbs 23:13 -14 in the message translation says “Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won’t kill them.A good spanking, in fact, might save them from something worse than death.” Lisa Whelchel (minister and former actress of “The Facts of Life” as “Blair”) says she would rather cause a little pain now to teach them to respect authority, to save them a lot of pain later for not respecting authority. I am of the same opinion. Proverbs 20:30 says “A good thrashing purges evil; punishment goes deep within us.”

The difference between domestic abuse and a spanking is that domestic abuse, as well as child abuse, is usually done in anger, and leaves marks. Abuse is usually preceded by and followed by verbal and emotional abuse. Derogating and humiliating the abused. My discipline of my children is not in anger, nor does it leave marks in anyway. Plus, as far as the difference between me spanking my child and my husband hitting me… it is not my husbands job to teach me anything, thus he has no reason to discipline me. It is a different relationship.

“At what age do people decide it is ok to do this to their infant/child?”
“At what age would they cease doing this to their child/teenager?”

For me a pop on the hand can be at an early age. I think that before they are a teenager, more than likely by about 8 or 9 spanking would stop. Why? Because they are more logical in their thinking process than toddlers, and there are many other forms of discipline available. At 18 months or 2 years old, you can not always rationalize with them like you can an older child.

Would I let someone else spank my child?
It would depend on my relationship with them, because I do agree that this form of discipline is precarious. I do allow other family members, but most child care providers I limit them to other forms. However if the consequence calls for a spanking I will back it up myself.

And finally do my children fear me? NO! How do I know? Well, first I think the reason they do not is because I am not abusive. I do not just fly off the handle and attack them. That is the fear. I have been spanked, and I have been abused. There is a difference. There is a difference between a calm parent explaining and administering a form of discipline, and one who abuses. In abuse, the child has no idea when the parent is going to loose it and fly off and hit them. How do I know my children don’t fear me? Because they are not afraid to love me, hug me, question me, or discuss things with me, even seconds after the spanking. Someone who is in fear and abused would not do these things. They cower to their abuser.

For more on my spanking philosophy, and guidelines, click here.

The Pains Of Expectancy

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s spirit is right along side helping us along. (Romans 8:22-26 TM)

Whether you have been pregnant or not, we can relate to being pregnant. Some love being pregnant. I myself hated it. I threw up for three months. I wanted to strangle the person who made this time of pregnancy out to be just a little sickness in the morning. However, the end was both the most exciting and most frustrating time of my pregnancy. The last month you know you are near the end, and all that you have gone through the last eight months is going to pay off. Yet, you are getting bigger and bigger. Your feet swell, and you can barely breath. (My short torso means the baby sits right on my lungs.)

My first pregnancy I tried to shorten the process by taking caster oil. Guess what, if it has not reached full maturity, (James1:2-4 The Message) and it is not God’s timing, nothing can make it happen. I just ended up sick as a dog. (Trust me it is not worth trying to hurry it up. You just end up disappointed and in more pain than before)

Then the moment finally arrives. There is a lot of pain. The next hours seem longer than the entire nine months. Not just because of the labor, but the anticipation is increasing exponentially.Once they are here, nothing went through seems to matter. It was all worth it. The love, the happiness, is more than we could have imagined.

You may be holding onto a dream, a promise God has given you, or a goal you want to reach. It seems that everything is getting more difficult than easier. Do you feel like you are just getting bigger with your dream, and more miserable in your circumstances?

David said “You…enlarged me when I was in distress” ( Psalms 4:1 Amp.) Just like a pregnant woman, you may be under the stress and pressure, and the distress of carrying this dream. Sometimes it may even feel like a burden. Yet during the distress you are being enlarged. Like Paul says, you can’t see what is enlarging you but when it is birthed it will be worth all the waiting, and all the pain.

If you are like me, you do not enjoy the process of waiting. ( And some processes are more painful than others.) You may believing for and carrying something totally different than I am. But in the end, the results are the same, a beautiful life! I want to encourage you today, be expectant, be hopeful , there is a beautiful life for you on the horizon!

Fun Friday … Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Today I thought I would share a funny story about a conversation with my daughter Emily. Let me set this up by saying two of my dearest friends, Melanie(28) and Shay (almost 33, Sorry girl ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) are both single and have never been married. Because they are very close to me, like sisters I have grown up with, my girls are close to them and hear a lot about their single status. On a different subject, anytime Emily begins to grumble about what she does not have, we always make her tell us the things she is grateful for, and tell her that not everyone has all she has. Not everyone has a home, not everyone has parents, etc. You get the picture.

Now to tie the two together …

The other night as Ben and I were spending time with Emily, watching TV, out of the blue she decides to tell us what she wants to be when she grows up:

“When I grow up I am going to build a building, with bricks.”

“You are? What for?”

“Well, it is going to be for poor people of all kind.”

“Wow Emily, that is really great!”

“If people need food, I will give them food. If they need clothes, I will give them clothes. If they need money, I will give them money.”

“Awwwww, that is so sweet.”

“And if people don’t have husbands, like Aunt Shay and Aunt Melanie, then I will help them find one. In fact, if Aunt Shay and Aunt Melanie aren’t married yet by the time I grow up, I will help them find a husband!”

Can I just say we both busted a gut on this one. I mean she is talking about feeding the hungry and clothing the homeless, all noble efforts, but in the same breath she found it just as important to help find husbands for my friends, and others.

So tell me … what crazy things have your kids said most recently? Please share your comments by clicking here.

Spending Time With Our Kids, Seems Easy Right?

As a Stay at home mom we assume we have plenty of time to spend with our children. We are not like the working mom who comes home and must set aside specific time with her child if she is going to nurture that relationship. We are with them all the time, right? Yet being with them, and spending time with them are two separate statements.

One mom describes a day with her children to me recently. They went to the gym for an hour, came home and she played ball with them, and she spent the entire morning in the pool with them just the three of them. She spends time in the afternoon working with her daughter on reading. ( Her daughter is not in kindergarten and reading very well) And yes, before you say it… her house was clean with no maid. Probably because they have not been inside pulling out the toys all day.

I have to admit that I am guilty of finding that most days I have been with my kids and not spent time with them. I keep them active, we go to the park or the swimming pool, and such, several days a week, and they love that. They get plenty of play dates. We usually go swimming or to the park with other moms and their kids, which leaves me able to talk to an adult and they get to be with kids their own age. This is good and healthy. However, when we are home… I need to clean up, and I need to call so many people, I ended up on the phone for 30 minutes rather than 10 and my daughter has tried to talk to me several times with an “I’ll be off in a minute” answer, I need to check my email, and oh I need to fold the laundry, and now I need to cook dinner. In the midst of that, my daughter has tried to talk to me and I have put her off, I had to put one in time out for hitting her sister, and the bedroom has every toy pulled into the middle of the floor. Just another thing to clean up.

Here’s the thing. I am with my kids all day, yet how much time did I spend with them? I know I am not the only one guilty of this. I recently read in Parenting magazine (August issue, Page 127) that “Fifteen minutes of one-on-one time a day with a child can significantly reduce aggressive behavior”. I probably spend that much time a day refereeing arguments between my kids. How much could that be reduced if instead I took that time to sit down with them, and facilitate play with them? If it reduces aggressive behavior it more than likely reduces whining, and discontentment. How much does it say to us, that 15 minutes a day of personal attention from their mother greatly effects their behavior? How powerful that relationship as a parent, not just a disciplinarian.

Life is just as busy for the “stay at home” mom as it is for the working mom. Our day can get filled with “to-do’s” and forget to do what is most important. My goal is to plan my “quality time” with them if need be. Turn off the cell phone, and the computer and set the dryer to air fluff. Spend 15-20 minutes a day with each of my children. I will remember why I had them to begin with, and why I stay at home in the first place. I will put them on my “to-do” list if necessary.

Just A Spoonful Of Mom’s Experience

As a new mom, or even an experienced mom, we can sometimes find ourselves in a panic when our children are sick. The following are a few things I have learned along the way. Please feel free to add your comments (by clicking the comment button at the bottom) to add what you have learned that you did not know before.

~ When a fever spikes the best thing you can give your child is Tylenol (acetaminophen). If the fever is spiking before you can administer Tylenol again, try “piggy backing” it with Motrin (ibuprofen). This means if you give them Tylenol and it cannot be given again for 4 hours, but the fever is spiking again after 3 hours, then give them Motrin. The Motrin will more than likely be an 8-hour dosage, but you will be able to give the Tylenol again before the Motrin. If their fever is this bad however, you need to call the doctor; this is not a teething fever. This treatment is only to keep them comfortable.

~ While I am typically conservative with medicines, I do not mess around with fevers. The reason: febrile seizures. These occur in children ages o – 5 years. It only occurs in about 5% of children. However, when it happened to Emily I decided to not take a risk. Febrile seizures are not a result of how high the fever is, but how fast it spikes. If this occurs,treat like any other seizure: roll them on their side so they do not choke, and do not put your fingers in their mouth. It will pass within a minute, however you still need to let them see the doctor. After the first time they will tell you to monitor their fevers closely, and they may not necessarily need to go to the doctor every time. So don’t freak out, just be cautious.

~ Headaches. Of course most headaches are easily taken care of with Tylenol or Motrin. However, my girls inherited my sinus headaches, which if left untreated, can cause migraines and vomiting. The solution: nasal spray. For most children, a simple saline spray is suitable, especially if used as a prevention. (For example, if you know it is a high pollen day, or high pollution day, you can go ahead and give them some nasal spray.) It simply helps to thin the mucus in their sinuses and allows it to drain easily, thus preventing headaches. My girls are actually on a nasal spray prescription, so if your child’s headaches are this severe, you may want to see a doctor. (The saline nasal spray is homeopathic, and is safe on infants. The prescription is a medication, but the spray is the best solution.)

~ Of course, a humidifier is also great to help with sinus drainage, and congestion. At the first signs of runny nose, or congestion we start the cool mist humidifier. You can avoid a serious congestion problem by running the humidifier at the onset.

If you know of any other helpful remedies or have some tips to share, please leave your comments!

The Land of Just Enough!

Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would really obey his commands. Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people need more than bread for their life; real life comes by feeding on every word of the Lord. For all these forty years your clothes didn’t wear out, and your feet didn’t blister or swell. So you should realize that just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you to help you. (Deut. 8:2-5 NLT)

The last few weeks, I have been talking about struggles. Tests, trials, and tribulation, all things that develop our character, and our relationship with God. This has all been an outpouring of what I have been experiencing. We know we are in a season where God is providing just enough. It seems that God is positioning us for greatness, but yet the “big breakthrough” sits on the horizon. Seems so close you could touch it, yet not. I truly feel like we are like the Israelites in the wilderness. Things are being taken care of, small and even quite big miracles in our lives, yet it is always just enough to keep us afloat. Not enough to truly be free. This puzzled me. I know God wants us to be blessed to be a blessing as God promised Abraham (Genesis 12:2), so why are we struggling to walk in what God has shown us?

Then I read a devotional from Bob Gass. He spoke of the Israelites and how God took them through 3 phases. First they were in the land of not enough, Egypt. Then the land of just enough, the wilderness, and then the land of plenty, the Promised Land. We are definitely in the “land of just enough” ; when I read this it really jumped out at me. Here is a piece of this devotional:

“He brought them through the wilderness of ‘just enough.’ God provided them with manna – just enough for each day. Now it’s no fun struggling to barely get by. But we tend to appreciate what we had to struggle for, and we learn to trust God more. Plus, living through seasons of ‘just enough’ builds into us a tenacity to keep moving toward better things

The good news is that in this land we will be provided for, and God is going to develop the character in us needed for the next place. The great news is that the land of plenty is around the corner, and we will be ready for it. If you have felt like you are in a place of just enough read this entire devotional, it will encourage you today.
Click here for the entire devotional.