“Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.†Luke 12:23, NIV
Have you ever had one of those days where if you could just get the kids in bed for nap, or bed, then you would be o.k.? Have you ever had this thought, “I am going to get the kids in bed, and then I am going to get my chocolate out of the cabinet, and relax”? This is my confession. Even when I was on Weight Watcher’s, I would reserve enough points for my “de-stressing” chocolate.
I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. Having kids only enhanced the struggle, but I can not blame them for my extra girth. ( as Dena from Faith lifts so delicately put it!) I have always eaten my stress, my joy, my anger, my disappointment, you get the picture.
But then something changed. Suddenly I didn’t just not like the way I looked, I didn’t like me anymore. I didn’t like my insecurity, my emotional roller coasters, and my anger towards so many. I didn’t like the way I was treating my husband, and the undue pressure I put on him to make me happy, an expectation he would never be able to live up to. When we sought some counsel, my pastor told me “Angel, girl, you have got to find your own validation outside of Ben”. It was at that moment that I began to realize what I had done to him. I began to say to myself, life has got to be more than this!
I have begun a journey, one that has involved examining what has caused me to loose the love I had for people, and life, and one that requires me to forsake the comfort of chocolate. I have had to forgive, and let go, I have had to accept the things in my life that were my fault, and let go of the things that were not. I had to let go of the victim mentality, and realize that it doesn’t matter what has happened in my childhood or adulthood. Dwelling on those things will not make the present easier or better.
I have begun to realize that eating healthy and exercising is not just about getting into a smaller size, but also about being healthy enough to do what God has called me to. To have the energy to keep up with my kids, and one day my grandkids. To have the health to stick around to grow old with my husband. To feel good about myself and fight the depression that laziness and stress eating enhances.
One of my greatest inspirations is Katrina Little, who lost 150 pounds and lives out the message of “Freedom From Dieting”. No Pills, No Diet plans, but letting God show her the way to live the way He intended, and learning to love herself in the process. She is now a mentor to me and has already helped me in ways she will never know.
Marla Ciley and Leanne Ely have written a great book called “Body Clutter”, I got it for Christmas and devoured it in 2 weeks. They compare the weight to clutter, it is an outward manifestation of the clutter in your mind and heart. And we all know you can not organize clutter or learn to deal with it in a healthy lifestyle, you can only get rid of it!
I have not reached the finish line, I have only now started the race. But just to know I have what it takes to run the course is, for now, enough for me!


This month I had a plan as to the direction of this column. It was all “plotted†out since I would have my hands full with our newest family member. I have tried to sit down and put it in order. It just has not happened. I think the Lord just wants me to speak from my heart and get back to the “nuts and bolts†of adoption next month. 
