“Parents often talk of the next generation as if they had nothing to do with it.”
~Haim
Fight Like A Girl!…
Have you ever heard the insult “You fight like a girl”? Well, have you ever seen a mother of any species fight when her child has been threatened. No man has ever been so tough. While women may not be as physically strong as men, God has created a resolve and inner strength in women that rivals any man’s muscle. Thus the saying, “Behind every good man is a good woman”. It is her inner-strength and resolve, not his muscle, that has pushed through to greatness. Genesis clearly shows that women are not the problem, but the solution. God says “It is not good for man to be alone”, and then he proceeded to create the beautiful specimen called WOMAN!Therefore, I have always been confused by so-called “feminist”. The outspoken groups who obviously hate men, but apparently hate being a woman. And while I am very confused by their contradictions, I am very much in favor of any gender or race doing or being anything they want to be. I believe if a woman wants to be President of the United States she can. ( However, I vote for my political leaders based on their ethics, morals, and political views, not their race or gender.)
With two girls, it is very important to teach them that they can do anything they want to do in life. So here is my thing. Why would I ever tell them they can do anything a man can do? Who ever decided that “man” was the standard for what can be accomplished. I say that my girls can do ANYTHING they want to do, period. This encompasses being an athlete, being a leader, being a scientist, being a construction worker, and also… being feminine, being lady-like, being a Princess, liking the color pink, and choosing it as the color to paint their fingernails.
Lisa Bevere’s book, “Fight Like A Girl, The Power Of Being A Woman” helps best define my beliefs of being a woman; we have something to offer this world that no man can. How can a woman feel good about being female when society, including “feminists”, paints it as a negative thing? Why is it that our success as a woman is measured and weighed by that of a man?
So my desire for this generation of young women is to swing the pendulum of the feminst movement into balance. I want to teach my daughter that she can be anything she wants to be in life, Doctor, Lawyer, Minister, Athlete, U.S. President, ballet dancer, Olympic Champion of Catapulting, or Stay-At-Home-Mom and Devoted wife. Whatever she desires to be is encouraged by me. (I would discourage the pole dancer thing, seems degrading no matter what your views :)) I want to help her embrace femininity and know that she has something to offer to society because she is a strong woman, not in spite of it. I want our daughters to view femininty as our greatest strength. Instead of my girls trying to adapt to the ill-fitted mold of a man, I want them to see the power God has given them to make their mark on the world… as a woman.
Public School, Private School, Home School?
My daughter Emily is starting Kindergarten next fall. I have really been researching the pros and cons of where we want her to be next year (and when I say “researching” I mean asking every mom I can her opinion, with a little bit of internet reading about the public schools in our school district).
Our public school district is not bad at all. Most parents I know who have their kids in public schools here say that not only do the schools have reasonably high academic standards, but they also still have a strong Christian influence, which is very important to my husband and me. The church we attend offers an excellent private school, and Emily currently goes to preschool there. They not only teach her the foundational truths of Christianity, but they also have extremely high academic standards, which is also very important to me and my husband. Parents I have talked to say it’s great. Kindergarten students are learning how to conjugate verbs! Since Emily is one of the oldest kids in her class, and she is a very fast learner, this is also important.
Then there is home school. I know my friend Kelly will have a few comments to share on this topic! 🙂 Again, our church offers an excellent alternative for homeschooling families. We have a “Home School Depot,” a house a lady bought and turned into a school house. All homeschooling children come 2-3 times a week. They get the socialization, and the classroom setting. The moms volunteer to teach one day a week or more in a subject they are strong in, thus also giving students the help they need that the parent may not be able to offer. They have chapel once a week, plus extra curricular/elective activities. But am I cut out to be with her seven days a week, and have the patience to teach her? While I long to have my teaching degree, I do not know if I am cut out to home school my own daughter. I welcome the comments from all perspectives on this subject!
The only thing I have gathered from all my “research” is that every family is unique and parents make their choices differently, and for different reasons. There is no right or wrong choice, only the choice that is right for your family. You are not a better or worse parent because you choose to home school, or because you choose to put your kids in public school!
I love being Emily’s room mom because that means I know the teacher and the parents, and they know me. You can not depend on a school (or church) to give your child what they need spiritually if you are not involved with it yourself. The most important factor in a child’s education, spiritually or academically, is the direct involvement of the parents.
Teaching Kids About Money
There are so many things we want to teach our children. I want Emily and Anna to have a happy life, happy marriage, happy children. Most all of which is connected to money.The number one cause of Divorce is money. I have heard from counselors to comics that, in marriage, money is not a fight, it is THE fight. Even as a single adult if they can not manage their money it will not matter how much they have. If they can, no matter how little they have they will do great things.
Recently my husband and I have been taking a Financial class, called Financial Peace. It is a system which helps you “babystep” your way out of debt. It has helped us truly learn how to budget, and how to invest, when we are ready. (Things we probably should not have graduated High School without learning.But I digress…)
We realized our parents never taught us these things, mostly because they didn’t know how themselves, and we really want our girls to get this stuff. Dave Ramsey says it is important to start young with your children, helping them quickly learn the value of a dollar. At 3,4, and 5 years old Emily says that she wants something; I will tell her we do not have the money; she says “well go to the bank”. That is simple enough for her,right? So we have created her a “bank”, so she understands that if you don’t put in you don’t get out.
Of course this brings in so many opportunities to teach character, responsibility, the concept of money,etc. It definitely tests our character, will power, and resolve to control our money.It is easier to create a habit than to break one, and undisciplined financing is a hard habit to break.
Dave has developed a system that helps you help them. It uses his concepts that he teaches to adults. It is complete with a chore chart, which you give monetary value; envelopes for giving, saving, and spending; and alot of other cool tools. It even has a place to deduct.(i.e. little Johnny didn’t pick up his toys, and mommy had to do it. She gets paid for it. -$1) He says not to call the money an allowance, it is a commission. Commission is something they earned and work for, which can also help give them a sense of pride and self esteem. Allowance is something they feel they are entitled to.(Let me just say here, some things they do needs to be expected because they are a contributing member of the family;Find 2 or 3 things they can do above and beyond their expected duties to earn commissions.)
We strive to teach our children character, morals, good habits of giving and being responsible. I really feel that introducing these principles encompasses all of the traits we want to instill in our children. I encourage you to look through these materials, and check out his whole site while you are there you may find it useful. His book Financial Peace is easy and funny to read.
KISS-Keep It Simple Stupid
While reading from another smart mom’s site, Robyn reminded me of something I too have heard before, but needed reminding of. KISS-Keep It Simple Stupid. A few years ago I thought my life was so dull. Being newly married we needed married friends, we weren’t active in much, and I was a stay-at-home mom with very little money (aka-Go Nowhere Stay At Home Mom). I had a pretty good handle on my priorities because I didn’t have anything to prioritize =) Now I have 2 kids, I am rooom mom at my daughter’s school, I work out at the gym, I have friends that I can’t remember the last time I called, my husband and I teach a parenting class at our church, I have a blog to keep up with up, and the list goes on.
Suddenly we find the thing we valued most slipping away from us, the quality time with our kids. And while I am so thankful for the friends and the activities I am able to be involved in, every once in a while I have to stop and check myself. If I am “too tired to play” maybe I need to let go of some less important things.
It is important for me as a mom with young children to remember that I don’t need to keep up with everything the “Joneses” have, or do. Too soon enough my kids will be older and I will have more time to do other things, but for now they are my first ministry. They really are the greatest thing I can contribute to society.
So to go back to Robyn’s wonderful advice … KISS everyday!
Attitude of Gratitude
Last night I watched “Extreme Makeover:Home Edition” on ABC. I am so glad to see this show’s return. While I did not catch the full story on this family, I was amazed at these children. The mom was a single mom, with 7 or 8 kids. And she had a family member with his kids living in a 900 square foot home. And, as always on this show, it was awful! Yet these kids were some of the most grateful I had ever seen.
How do we give our children all the advantages of life, and teach them gratitude at the same time? It seems those with less learn this easier than the more fortunate, but I think those who grow up with blessing can understand its value. These are a few ideas I have discovered in trying to teach this to my daughter: Continue reading “Attitude of Gratitude”
A Little Lighthearted, but True, Humor
Today, I thought I would give you some perspective on parenting. Let’s remember not to take ourselves so seriously. The following is an excerpt from Scott Turansky and Jo Anne Miller‘s book “Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes …” (Great book so far that I have read)
First baby: At the first sign of Distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby
Second baby: You pick up the baby when her wails threaten to wake up your first born
Third Baby: You teach your three year old how to rewind the mechanical swing
First baby:You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the bureau
Second baby:You check to make sure the clothes are clean and discard only those with the darkest stains
Third baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
First baby: You take your infant to baby gymnastics,baby swim, and baby story hour
Second baby: You take your infant to a co-op play group
Third baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners
First baby:The first time you leave your baby with a sitter you call five times.
Second baby:Just before you leave you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached
Third baby:You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood
First baby:You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby
Second baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing,poking,or hitting the baby
Third baby: You spend a little bit of each day Hiding from the children
HAPPY FRIDAY! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
Training a child(2)….Finding your child’s niche
Yesterday I spoke on “training a child in the way he should go…” Training him/her by using life to teach them. Taking the time to explain why things are the way they are, and the “why’s” of rules that have been set in place. Another aspect of “training a child in the way he should go” is helping him/her find their niche, helping them to discover the God given talents that they were wired with. Each child has talents and abilities in their DNA. As parents it is our responsibility to help them find it and nurture it.
As my pastor pointed out, when a child has something in their life that they love and are passionate about, they do not have time for trouble. Drugs, sex, and all the things we fear our teens, and now young children, being caught up in become a non-issue. Everyone in this world needs a purpose, and when they have it, that is their “drug” of choice. Continue reading “Training a child(2)….Finding your child’s niche”
Training a child(1)….”Rules Without Relationship Lead to Rebellion!”
Proverbs 22:6 says “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is grown he will not depart from it.”
Solomon by all standards was considered one of the wisest men who lived, so taking some tips from him may not be a bad idea. And if you have EVER been in church (or raised by parents who were) you are probably familiar with this verse. But what does it really mean?
Training a child involves teaching him/her the “why’s”. Why you are discplining them, or WHY the rules are what they are; using life as a time to explain things. For example, when my in-law’s dog was hit by a car, it was a great opportunity to teach my daughter why you must hold mommy’s hand crossing a street or parking lot. She now reminds me to hold her hand. She “gets” why the rule is there, and it is no longer arbitrary.
How many of us heard “because I said so” as a reason or answer to the “why’s” when we were growing up? And how many of us are guilty of using this line on our own children simply because we are tired of explaining why, or do not want to take the time to explain why.Did being told “because I told you so” seem like a good enough reason to follow the rules? Yes, there are some things that children must accept because they cannot fully understand, but it is still important for a child to know WHY the rules are what they are. When a child understands the reasons behind a rule, he/she is more likely to adhere to the rule, even when the parents are not around. This is the beginning of shaping their moral judgment, and this is what it means to “train” a child. Continue reading “Training a child(1)….”Rules Without Relationship Lead to Rebellion!””
Ireland’s Craftworker has great children’s games!
This week, I have found a very beautiful site. It is a blog about the life of an Irish craft worker. She is obviously very talented in her crafts, and very creative. I loved her one post about taking her children to the shores to witness a sperm whale who had washed ashore. The pictures are beautiful, and the description of this moment is one to read about.
I found on her site activities to to do with your children. These were excellent. A new twist on hide and seek that I can’t wait to try with my daughter, since hide and seek is one of her favorite games to play! She highlights every week a different children’s game that uses one of the five senses.
So check it out, you may be inspired to go play with your kids. Make it apart of your family game night.