Visit the Library!

Library CardToday I took Emily, my soon-to-be five year old, to the library. Ok, I must confess that I have never done this with her. We are avid readers, and she has so many books that we have to keep buying bigger bookshelves. We have always gone to Barne’s and Noble for reading time and, as the whole purpose of reading time, I usually walk out with at least one or two books along with a cup of coffee. But as with all things new, she becomes bored with the same books after a while … and so do I, after reading the same book so many times that she can recite the story from memory. (Her favorite is “If You Give a Pig a Pancake”)

But today I rediscovered the local library. She received her VERY first library card! She signed it herself and then checked out her choice of books, videos and books-on-tape. She felt so grown up and couldn’t wait to bring them home! It was a fantastic activity for me and her to do together. I even got some books for myself … and it was in my budget (Free! Ha!)

When I told my mom I was taking her to the library she reminded me of how much I loved the library. When I was in Jr. High, the local library was only a few blocks from the school, so my mom would let me walk there after school. She would give me a couple of dollars to stop at a convenience store and get a snack, then pick me up when she got off work. I loved it. I would do my homework, and then I would checkout the next book in “The Babysitter Club” series. I saw them today at the library, and suddenly could not wait for Emily to be a little older so I could share them with her.

So my thought for the day is to think of something you loved to do as a child, and share it with your child. It is the simplest of things that will mean so much to them, and you. My husband loves the “Andy Griffith” show. When Emily was about 2, her bedtime was 7:30. Andy Griffith came on at 7pm on TV Land. So their night time routine was to watch Andy Griffith before bed. He would tell her how he used to watch it when he was little, and Grandma and Grandpop watched it when they were little. That routine only lasted a few months, but she still remembers sharing something with him that he did when HE was a little boy.

Weekly Home Blessing Hour, Start Your Week on the Right Foot!

How many of us spend all week cleaning and doing Laundry, only to have the weekend come and ruin all your hard work? Monday is dreaded because it is catching up from the weekend. Well fly lady, one of my favorite sites, gives a great tip on how to start Monday on the right foot. One hour can make your Mondays alot easier to wake up too. I include my husband in this, so between both of us it only takes 30 min. to get our home looking nice and in order again from the weekend. The idea is not to obsess over the small things, just get the overall cleaning during this time. There are seven things to do; set your timer for 10 minutes and STOP when the timer goes off. Not every task will take 10 minutes, therefore you will fit it all in 60 minutes. (Or 30 with your husband’s help) I find that getting my husband to help me with this is easier than anything else. Because he knows he does not have to be perfect, it is slipshodding not detail cleaning, and he knows he can be done in 30 minutes and I will be happier and he can do what he wants to. (This is especially great for the husband who likes football on Sunday afternoons….. “Honey if you will give me 30 minutes of undivided attention, you can watch your 3 hour football game”)

Flylady suggests doing it on Mondays, but I suggest Sunday afternoons or evenings. Only because 1) Sunday mornings are usually a “sling and fling” to get to church, so this allows me to bring the order back; 2) My husband is around to help me so it only takes 30 minutes, and 3) If you work, you are not going to do this before you leave for work, but if done on Sundays you can come home after work on Monday without dreading what you have to do when you get there.

Check out fly lady’s weekly home blessing hour, and all her wonderful tips in baby steps to organizing your home, and life!

Let a Happy Baby Be

I refer yet again to rookiemoms.com on this great thought for the day. So many times we think that we have to entertain babies every moment, they need stimulation constantly. Well, have you ever watched a baby stare at a ceiling fan for an hour? It is not hard for them to entertain or stimulate themselves. And it is ok to take a few moments for yourself while baby is content with herself. As rookiemom said herself, “…… a person blissfully staring into space does not need her mother to shake a rattle in her face”. Check out their blog on this subject at rookiemoms.com

Create a “Did-Do” list

Ok, so have you ever had a “to-do” list and got to the end of your day to ask yourself (or worse your husband asks you) What did I (you) do today? Here’s an idea….after writing your to-do list, on the bottom of the page write your “Did Do” list. Every time you changed the baby, fed the baby, how long it took you, How long you were on the phone with the Insurance company, the phone company etc., cleaned up the toys 4 times today, swept the floor after every meal, loaded the diswasher twice…..ok, you get the picture. You, and now your spouse, will realize how much you DID do, not just what you didn’t do.

This idea came from another “mom” site that I stumbled upon. I love it’s purpose. Over 300 ideas for moms to help them be creative with their children, and themselves. Phenomenal ideas for those “Mom’s so bored gotta do something blues”. This is especially great for 1st time moms. Check it out for yourself, RookieMoms.com.

Our Deepest Fear …

I found this inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson on Kammie Kobyleski’s blog, PassionMeetsPurpose.com:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

I’m a stay at home mom, and I love every minute of it, and even though being a mom has always been part of my dream for my life, it is not my whole dream. It is my fear, not my role as a mother, that has prohibited me from pursuing my passion. How many of us moms live in the shadow of our children as an excuse to not pursue our passion?

Establishing a routine ~ Wake Up Time

If you are beginning to form a routine for your child, this tip is a good one no matter the age of the child. It is especially important, and helpful, for parents of older babies and toddlers who have not had a routine or schedule ’til now.

The first place to start is the time they wake up. Establish what time you want them to wake up in the morning. You will need to wake them up at the same time every morning, even on Saturdays, at least for a few weeks until the pattern is established. This may seem hard on you now, but the reward is so great.

This one thing is key whether you want a more strict schedule, or a more flexible “go with the flow” routine. It is the starting point of the routine because it is the starting point of their day. Even if this were the only thing you did to form a routine, you would see little Jimmy begin to form his own routine naturally. He would get tired around the same 30 minutes or so every day, and you would begin to see that his day would become more predictable.

Most parents make the common mistake of choosing bedtime as a place to start. If the bedtime is the ultimate goal, you still must establish what time they wake up. This sets a pattern for the day leading up to bedtime. And enough wake time in the day equals enough sleep time at night!

I am the Mirror my Daughters Look Into

Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum

I was watching ABC’s “Good Morning America” a few months ago,(June 2006) and they had a mother and daughter on who had together written a book,“Come Back: A Mother and Daughter’s Journey through Hell and Back”. The daughter was a “cutter” (a loose definition is someone who cuts themselves causing physical pain, to escape emotional pain.) They were telling their stories, the mother’s story of what she went through to save her daughter, and the daughter telling what she went through and the things she had to face to overcome this addiction. The pain for the daughter started with her parents’ arguements, and then eventually divorce, and it spriraled from there. She eventually ran away from home, and it took sometime for her mother and step-father to find her, and even longer to get her the help she needed.

The thing that struck me the most about their story was how this was a typical suburban family. They lived nicely, and there was not abuse in the home. Both parents, and the step parents, seemed to care for this young lady, and provided all they could to make her happy. So what was the problem? The mother went on to tell how during therapy and healing they learned that you can tell your children all day long how beautiful they are, how much they are loved, and how much they can accomplish. But, what they see you do has a far greater impact than what they hear you say.

Children receive their identities from their parents. Are you generally happy with your life? When you tell your children they can do or be anything, are you accomplishing your dreams or do you live with regrets? When you tell them how beautiful they are, do you feel good about your self image, or do you complain more about the parts you don’t like? My biggest weakness is my weight, and I have struggled with my self-image all my life (as did my mother). And I have heard my 4 year old make comments about being fat, or not wanting to be. OK, she is so thin we have to buy pants with adjustable waist and draw them all the way up! So where is she getting it from? I could say TV, but let’s be real. She does not watch TV near as much as she watches me. What I have come to realize is that when my daughter is down on herself, it is I she is imitating. I am the mirror my daughters look into.

Thus not taking time to nurture your spirit, not doing the things you want to do, or being the person you want to be does not make you a martyr for the sake of motherhood. Mothers who love life will have children who love life. Mothers who love themselves, will have children that will love themselves. Your children, escpecially your daughters, want to see that they can have a great marriage, and wonderful children, AND whatever dreams they have. [Whether it be staying at home,or being a Doctor, dancer, or dog walker (HA)]
And they will know this by you giving them an example to follow.

Now in my desire to be a good mom and not have my daughters share the same struggles as me, I am faced with taking a good look in the mirror myself. After all, no matter how much I think my girls are listening, they’re watching even more closely.

What do your children see in the mirror?

Taking away the Pacifier

binkyWhen I had to take away the “Binky” from my oldest someone passed a great idea to me, and it worked like a charm. Spend a few weeks weaning them. Only let them have it at nap time or bed time. (This is not necessary, but it made it easier on me.) Then when they have become adjusted to that, cut a hole in it. Cut the tip right off, not prick a hole in it, cut it off! When they can not get the sucking sensation they will become annoyed and stop wanting it all together. This way you are not taking it away from them. Just say “uh-oh it’s broken. I’m sorry, I don’t have anymore.” This is actually usually a smooth transition and not hard to do. Many, including myself, have said it was easy. Once you decide to do it.

  • You should only have one Pacifier in your possession. This takes away your temptation to pull out the uncut one.
  • Remember if in a moment of weakness you “Find” one that is fixed you have lost, because then they will know you can get another one.
  • People do away with the Pacifier at different ages. Of course this works best with a child over one, because they understand “it’s broke”. My advice though is to do it before 2 years. Why? Because Emily was 2 years and she began developing her speech through her “Binky”,causing a slight speech impediment. She has outgrown it, after correcting her pronunciation of things, but you can avoid the bad habit altogether. Plus, as my Dental Hygienist mother-in-law would add it is not good for their teeth.

The Voice of Authority

When correcting your child’s behavior, it is important to use a firm voice, or voice of authority. Below are Supernanny’s suggestions:

  • Avoid shouting across the room; instead, go to where the child is.
  • Remember to make eye contact with your child by getting down on their level. Do not intimidate him or her with your height. You are not issuing “commands from above,” that they can pretend to ignore.
  • Hold your child by the arm so that they can’t run away from you and tell them to “Look at me, please” while giving correction.
  • Have a low, firm, authoritative tone, but not an angry or threatening tone.
  • Tell him/her calmly and sternly what he/she has done wrong and what you expect out of them: “We do not hit people; please do not do it again or there will be a time out.”