Why is there so much controversy over schedules and routines? While some moms despise the idea of routine, others thrive on them. Can putting your infant on a feeding schedule really lead to malnourishment? Does implementing a daily routine really have to confine you?
While some moms may cringe, and others cheer at the thoughts of a schedule or routine for your infant and toddlers we can all agree that having your children sleeping through the night would be a blessing. A study showed that couples who reported a stronger commitment and emotional investment in a family routine were more satisfied in their marital relationship when their oldest child was in preschool (Fiese,Hooker,Kotary,&Schwagler,1993); and let’s face it when your child is in the bed with you or up all hours of the night making you exhausted, never knowing when you will have time together, to rest, or get anything accomplished, the marriage is the first to suffer.
Consistent routines are not just a comfort to the parent, knowing what to expect and having down time for yourself, but also for the child. “Knowing what will happen next gives babies and toddlers physiological and emotional stability. The stability and consistency allows them to feel safe and secure—trusting a caring adult to provide what they need. Stable routines allow babies and toddlers to anticipate what will happen next and to learn appropriate behaviors for each situation in their day. This not only gives young children confidence, but also a sense of control.†(National Center for Infants. Toddlers and Families) Some parents feel that putting your infant on a schedule can hinder them, cause them to be malnourished or feel insecure. According to Parenting magazine Susan Newman, a social psychologist in New Jersey says “Routines begin from the first days of life affecting the relationship between parent and child, setting the stage for rocky or smooth sailing as your child gets older. Babies, especially, need regular sleep AND meal schedules and even routines leading up to those activities ( i.e. a story before bed)â€
Thanks for this. A lot of my friends laughed at me when I had my now 6yo on a routine for naps, feedings and such but to be honest with you – it worked out so great for us. It provided us both with a nice schedule that wasn’t too rigid at all and allowed us to flow comfortably though most of the days. Of course things happen to throw a monkey wrench into the day – but for the most part it went well.
Fast Forward 6 years later and we STILL have certain routines with homework, TV/Movie Time, and dinner and I love it.
Aurelia
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this! I think routines are key. The families I’ve seen that respect their routine seem to have a pretty good balance happening.