Today I would like to share an excerpt from Lisa Welchel’s book “Creative Correction”. This piece really struck something in me, I hope it does with you as well.
Evaluating Our Priorities:
“When it comes to having misplaced priorities, I’m definitely guilty! Much of the time, my goal in parenting is simply to have well behaved children – not for some higher, godly purpose, but for my own peace and quiet. My life is so much simpler and more enjoyable when the kiddos obey me without arguing and when they get along with each other. As a result, I’m quick to correct them, sometimes in anger, when my comfort is disturbed, without considering how I’m modeling God to them.What hidden motives do you sometimes have? Do you ever struggle with pride? I do. It’s easy to want other people to admire our little ones and, in effect, praise our parenting skills. When our kids are on their best behavior, it makes us, their parents, look good. And when someone notices, it can feel as though all our hard work is finally paying off.
For some people, being prideful isn’t their main stumbling block. But is guilt? Some of us base our parenting priorities on how guilty we feel. We have this false, often unrealistic ideal of how our children should behave; and when they don’t cooperate, we blame ourselves, thinking we’re doing something wrong. All of these motivations, my desire for peace and quiet , pride, and guilt are understandable. But they are still wrong. If we parent with the wrong motives, we will ultimately crumble when the “growing” gets tough. So it’s vital that we step away from the pandemonium of parenting from time to time and remind ourselves of the true goal. To have kids who are drawing an accurate picture of God in their hearts and learning how to relate to Him as their Creator each day.
Modeling God to our kids is a tall order. In fact, I would be the first to admit that my representation of God is imperfect. But that’s the nature of a reflection. It’s backward in a mirror, upside down in a spoon, blurry in a window, and always one-dimensional. Though we should strive to be godly, we can never perfectly reflect God. Instead, our goal should be to ensure that our reflection of God draws our children closer to Him and that it makes them long to touch the real thing.
(Lisa Whelchel is a national speaker, and has written many books to and for mothers. She is best known for her role on “The Facts Of Life” as Blair.)
I too can agree on that. I do battle in the mind with my parenting skills. Not so much of being prideful but mine lies with guilty. My thing is that I want to desperately show Christ that I often fall short. However, I am dealing with that. I know that inorder for my kids to follow Christ with their whole heart, I too have to follow suite. When I am telling my kids of obedience, I do let them know that Mommy and Daddy too have to be obedient as well. I let them know that whatever I am asking them to do or follow, I do as well. I want them to be lead by example. So, I have to lead by example. And, where I fall short at I know that God has that covered. It is hard being a parent because we are accountable to them and they are to us. And, as parents we have a tremendous job to do in placing the WORD in them everyday. I sometimes don’t always get it at first. I struggle because when I do discipline out of anger. I am upset with myself because I did not model Christ at all. And, so I apologize to my kids and pray to God for patience and to model HIM correctly to the best of my abilities. And, some days I do get it and some days I don’t. But, through prayer and God’s WORD we will eventually get it all right. One day at a time and with one breath at a time.