Increased Faith

BY: Stephanie Derolus

She found herself saying to God “my faith is little.” But then it was stated to her “take it one day at a time, days will become weeks, weeks will turn into months, and months into years.” As I replay back these words and view her struggle, it was her faith that God was growing. As the days did in fact become weeks and as weeks flowed into months and months evolved into years, her faith increased powerfully and passionately with each step that she took. God’s grace empowered her to press on towards her goal. She did not lose sight of her prize but was more “desperate” to finish. With each obstacle that she faced she endured. With each challenge that she encountered she persevered. And through it all she conquered and was victorious. The enemy wants us to lose hope and faith. But then the Holy Spirit empowers us to press through. I am reminded of this in Paul writings, and then I am encouraged more.

I really want to share my story but as I sit here my heart is breaking and pain is flooding in fast. However, I will try to do my best because I know that someone may be hurting and needs to hear this, and to be encouraged.

It has been eight months now. I had carried a baby to full-term, and then I had to birth him dead. It was the most horrific thing to ever happen to me. I had carried this baby for nine wonderful months. Then to go into contractions and hear the doctor tell me that “he has no heart beat”, was unbearable. At first I thought that they were kidding and this must be a bad joke or something, but then I asked to see him and to hold him. He was so warm and so big. (He had weighed 9lbs and 6oz) His eyes were closed and I was desperately wanting him to open his eyes and prove me wrong. I wanted to see him just look at me and I wanted to hear him cry for me. And, as I looked at him in my arms I could not understand how could this happen. And as the nurses took him away I just cried.

How could this happen to me? Why me? I did everything right! I did what I was supposed to do? So what went wrong? Every question came to mind. I just could not understand. Leaving the hospital empty handed was surreal. The reality hit me hard. My arms were empty. My heart was heavy and painful. Did I not just have a baby? Now to leave the hospital without a child…I just could not understand. However, going home was more painful because I had to face everything. Face telling my other two children that the baby is gone. To face the empty bassinet and clothes and all the baby stuff that will never get used.

However, as the days progressed, I noticed something different about my two little ones. It was like God blessed them with an extra something. I really cannot explain it but they made me laugh and smile so much. They gave me extra hugs and kisses. They told me that they love me. It was unbelievable. And, there at those moments I would tell myself I cannot give up. I must continue to press on and through. I’ve got to fight and continue to fight. And, though it was hard, I lifted up my hands and praised God and glorified HIM for all he has done and will continue to do. I thanked HIM and worshiped HIM more than ever. I still worship HIM more than ever. So, I tell you all this that no matter what happens in life you cannot give up. You’ve got to press on even more than ever. My praise for my God is stronger than ever. We do not know why things happen. But I am comforted that my little precious baby only helped increase my faith more and I know I will see him again someday. And that God is taking care of him for me. No matter what life may bring, we cannot lose sight of Jesus. No matter how hard the waves hit, no matter how hard the wind blows, no matter how hard the rain falls, through all that we have to fix our eyes on Jesus. We have to fix our eyes on Jesus. So, please be encouraged and never give up! Never give up!

Life will come at us with everything and when it does I am reminded in the book of Philippians of how it is plainly stated “to not be anxious about anything but in everything bring it to God in prayer.” God wants us to be strong and of good courage. He wants us to be filled with his strength. And, to consider it joy when we are persecuted or going through obstacles, trials, for his sake. As I sit here I am encouraged more to continue on this race and to finish it well. I think about Paul and how he went through much and how he stayed so encouraged. Because he knew in the end it is all worth it. Yes the body is weak, but glory to God, the spirit is strong. That is why we die daily to flesh, so that our spirit may grow more in Our Lord. So yes, it was spoken to her, and I speak it to you. “One day at a time. Days will become weeks, weeks into months, and months turned into years.” But through each moment consider how blessed that your faith will be increased. God is so so good!! Let us Praise Him Forever more!