An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure ~Ben Franklin
Ever heard this one before? It applies to so many aspects of life. From managing money, to dealing with relationships. Specifically, the one I want to talk about today, with our children. Knowing how to discipline is important. Knowing discipline techniques, logical and appropriate consequences, are all important to parenting. However, there is another aspect to consider which can bring balance to parenting… Prevention.
There are many times when my child is misbehaving that I can usually attach the behavior to a chain of events. Not every time that our child misbehaves are they simply being rebellious, or “the little deviant”. We forget that, like us, their attitudes and reactions may stem from external circumstances.
When you face that moment where they are being unreasonable, and you can not understand why, ask yourself these questions…
What is going in there life?
Have they been getting enough sleep?
Are they hungry? (Even children who can talk may sometimes be hungry or have low blood sugar and not know it)
Have you and daddy been arguing or discussing things in front of the children you might not should be?
Have you spent quality time with your child?
You would be amazed at how these things can affect your children. Have you ever found yourself in the car talking on the phone, and you realize once you arrive that you have been on the phone the whole time. I am guilty of this! Not realizing how I am letting precious time with my kids get away. When I make a conscious decision to not be on the phone and really talk with my girls, they truly seem to be more content.
As I write this it is actually evening, and my husband is on a “date” with our daughter Emily. We have both been making an effort to spend some extra time with her as her behavior has revealed our lack of attention. (That is a nice way of putting it 🙂 ) We all have a tendency to not recognize the signs, and then wonder why they are driving us so crazy, but a little reflection may show there is a simple solution.
The point is discipline and correction is not always time out, or spankings. Sometimes the discipline and correction needs to be in us as parents, and we need to recognize that as parents we can significantly reduce the misbehavior with a little prevention.
I try to dicipline my son, but it either comes back to bite me in the ass, or he doesn’t even listen to what I’m saying to him. Yea, I know he’s 2, but my friends have 2 yr olds too, and they listen better then mine does.
That is interesting. These days I have been reflecting more. I was watching Paula white and she had a Lance Wubbels who has a book out called “To love a child is spelled T-I-M-E.” And, they were discussions the precious time we have with our children. It is so important because all they want is quality time with us. We try to spend moments that they will remember forever. I go for walks with them. Play with them. Just interact with them. They just love to be around us all the time. Just right now, while I am writing on this site they are hear right next to me. They need to be around us, which is so good. While, we are walking I take the time to talk to them about things or tell them of how God loves them. I am trying to build that relationship with them. I want them to come to us with anything and to not be afraid to come to us with anything. I think that is so important. Life is really short. So, I do try to spend quality time with them.