Attitude of Gratitude

Last night I watched “Extreme Makeover:Home Edition” on ABC. I am so glad to see this show’s return. While I did not catch the full story on this family, I was amazed at these children. The mom was a single mom, with 7 or 8 kids. And she had a family member with his kids living in a 900 square foot home. And, as always on this show, it was awful! Yet these kids were some of the most grateful I had ever seen.

How do we give our children all the advantages of life, and teach them gratitude at the same time? It seems those with less learn this easier than the more fortunate, but I think those who grow up with blessing can understand its value. These are a few ideas I have discovered in trying to teach this to my daughter:
*Dr. Kevin Leman says, say no to your kids as much as possible. His point in this is they need to be able to take “no” for an answer, and be grateful for the “yes”. (Of course, there is a balance to this.) I found my daughter thinking that every time we went somewhere she was supposed to get something. This attitude was mostly because she usually did, even if it was just a gumball. That was at about 3 years old. After reading Dr. Leman’s statement, I put it into practice; I would tell her “no,” even to the gumball. Why? After all, it is only 25 cents, right? Because a 3 year old does not “get” monetary value. A gumball is just as significant as the $10 toy. It can still create a selfish attitude in your child, feeling it is a right, not a privelege (as it did in mine). It was not a pretty picture the first few times I told her “no”. I quickly understood why I gave in so much, but I would carry her from the store saying “no”. After a while she figured it out and stopped asking for something every time we went somewhere. Now I am very conscious to not buy her something every time we go out. When I do buy her a “surcee” (small gift) she really appreciates it, instead of expecting it just because she breathes.

*Turn the ungrateful comments they make into positive ones. Don’t forget they mirror you. So I took a good look at me and I began to change the things I said. When Emily says, “I wish we had a minivan like my cousin Sydney,” I don’t even acknowledge the comment. I simply begin saying “God, I thank you for this Ford Taurus I drive. I thank you that we do not have to walk places like other people. Lord, I thank you that we have a car that has never broken down on us, and we have always had the money to put gas in the car, and we’re able to drive wherever we want.”  You know, speaking positive helps ME too, and has been the most significant thing to change her attitude.

*Do things with them to help in the community. Even at 4 or 5, take your child to a shelter for the homeless and let them help feed others. It is good for them to see those less fortunate. It is the only way they learn that what they have is not an entitlement, but a privilege. And my favorite thing each holiday season is to sponsor a family for Christmas. We decided this year we are taking our Christmas budget on the girls and splitting it in half. They get too much every year anyway (from us and other family members). So we are taking part of our budget and buying Christmas for another family. We will take Emily shopping for the gifts, let her help with the wrapping, and take her with us to deliver them to the family’s home. I want her to know that she is abundantly blessed, and that not all kids have what she has. I want her not only to hear this truth, but see it. And also to experience the joy of giving to someone else. This is such a powerful thing! My husband and I did this before we had kids, and every year we walked away crying, thankful for our many blessings, and grateful that we were able to be a blessing.