I choose to speak and believe and expect that men can be great! I choose to hold up the icons of Lancelot, of Charles Ingalls, of William Wallace, of John Walton! I choose to believe that Adam and Eve were created side-by-side; he cherishing and loving her, and her honoring and respecting him.…I know, I know…it doesn’t always work out that way. Because the reality is, in this world, men have the power…Biblically speaking, that power works beautifully for both men and women: “husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church,” and “women, give your husbands the honor that they are due.” So women are to honor their husbands as they would Jesus: serving, loving, praising, respecting, submitting to the authority of. (I know, as a part of current American culture, you are choking on the word “submit”…but stick with me here!) And men are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church: as an absolutely self-less, servant-leader…giving, serving, loving, protecting, even unto horrific suffering and death. Terri Miller Reality Parents
Today I visited Reality Parents. Terri was writing about man bashing, and the effects it has on your marriage. It seems funny, and it seems harmless, but how much does it really effect not only our perception of or husbands, but what they emulate? I personally do not appreciate the jokes some have sent to my husband about nagging wives, and silly women. So why is it o.k. to see and say equally as demeaning things about our husbands? I am not throwing stones, because my glass house would come tumbling in on me, but I am saying that I was convicted by this. The marriage should be a sacred place. The home should be where every member of the family is accepted and honored.
Sometimes as we begin to feel the conviction of what we say or think about our husbands we tend to defend it by what they say and think about us. I liked Terri’s point here: “Even as we strive to restore our men to a place of honor and respect, there will be exceptions. There always are. “There’s nothing like a mother’s love,” right? But sometimes a mother drowns her own children, or beats them, or leaves them locked in a basement to die. These are the exceptions, and we don’t need to outlaw basements because of them. Well, there are going to be men that we try to respect, that we strive to honor…and they are going to misuse their power, and they are going to be jerks. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater.” So while they are not perfect and never will be, neither are we.
Here is my bottom line. I can ramble on about my husband’s shortcomings, like mine, 🙁 they are there. However, I can equally rant on and on about what a wonderful husband and father he is. Yet, by human nature we tend to point out the worst rather than the best. Why is that? I can tell you that he rarely, if ever, points out the things in me that disqualifies me as “Wife of The Year”. Yet, I tend to find the things that need to be improved upon in our marriage instead of enjoying the good things.
This weekend is our anniversary, and I will take the time to tell him what he means to me. What I love about him, and how much I honor and respect him. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion, though, to remind your spouse what you love about them. So, I follow in Terri’s suit to let him know He is indeed my Knight in Shining Armor. To see the things I love about him, more than the things I would like to change.
Read Terri’s Full article by clicking here. It is worth the read.
Why don’t you just open a can of worms.I have to say many times I think its easy to be with men than woman.Our husband is supose to be our best freind.Not to say its a cake walk.So many times if a friend ask us to do somthing o sure, but if our husbands ask we would say o I’m tired our I don’t have time ,I have to take care of the kids.We don’t mind telling our husbands no but we would never tell our friends no.Now days its like we have forgotten WE REAP WHAT WE SOW,like if we speak blessings over our husband that will come back to us.God also says,Speak those things that are not as though they are.If any one is having a hard time with their husband say , I have the best husband in the world he is so good to me .Alot of times they have been wonderful we have been hurt by other men so we have walls up and can’t feel that wonderful love.At the begining of my marriage I had been hurt so that I had all the walls up but now its wonderful.God heals all if we let him.My husband is the best because God worked on both of us.Angel,I can write a book on this.HA HA
And on another note, when single women constantly hear married women gripe about their husbands shortcomings, it scares them and makes them. It makes us want the romance but not commit. I thought this for a long time. It is taking awhile to revamp my thinking on marriage because what I’ve heard married women talk about.
I don’t man bash any more, and I don’t listen to married women gripe about their husbands but I’m still along way from signing a contract. We need to hear what makes it worth it because sitcoms, drama shows and real life are enough to make you decide that being in charge of your own financial security, and making yourself happy is better.
Shay, All my “younger” friends that are/were single will tell you that I have never made marriage out to be a picnic. And I am not man bashing to them when I have spoken about my marriage. I think that single people need to realize that it is a 2 way street and that you have to prepared to make sacrifices. It doesn’t work unless you realize that. You will make mistakes and he will make mistakes. But at the end of the day the reason why I got married is because it was a calling God had on my life. I didn’t try to pick my mate. God picked him out for me. And He did a fine job. Some days I wonder what God was thinking, but He knows me better than I know myself and I think sharing my life with someone else and having a common goal to work toward is a very rewarding thing. In the beginning you marry for the romance part of love. In the end you’re married because it is what God has called you to do and you want to model Christ love
to your mate and the world. Just my 2Cents. From a girl who married at 27 and every person in my bridal party was or had been married except my younger brother.
Signed off too soon on my previous post. I also wanted to say. Hang in there and the less man bashing the better.:)
It gives you good practice for marriage.
Believe me, you will need it. 🙂 Policy I am trying to follow: You will get only as good as you give.
I always listen to people rip on their husbands and it bugs me, big time! It amazes me because, we women, aren’t perfect in our marriages, either! If you have a good husband who helps (in some capacity)around the house, with the kids, comes home for dinner and doesn’t complain if it sucks…then, so far, so good! I know my husbands shortcomings, he knows mine…it’s all good!
Melissa