This week as I was struggling with my toddler, and having some serious behavior issues I was reminded of a very important tip that I have forgotten: Spending time with your child can hep alleviate behavior issues.
So many times we get busy doing, and going that our children are just another thing to be managed and shuffled around. But when they begin to get to shuffled, they will let you know when they are tired of it, usually in the form of bad behavior. My two year old Anna has been acting out in such a way I was at a loss. She looks at me and says, “I not be a sweet girl today”. She just lets me know up front that she intends to behave badly!
Then about two days ago I was telling her she would be going to school on Friday (Mommy’s Morning Out), and she burst into tears. “I not want to go to school mommy!” This is very unusual because she loves going to Mommy’s Morning Out. So I realized my biggest problem with her was time. I had spent no time with her that wasn’t “to the grocery store, feed her lunch, give her a bath, put her to bed” time, and she was retaliating.
I proceeded to tell her that we were not going to school that day. We were going to hang out and go to reading time. “Would you like that?” She instantly changed her attitude. We went to reading time, just the two of us, and I even took her in the toy store and let her play a bit. (She loved it, and I got some great Christmas ideas) The difference, however, was in the fact that I was not on the phone or distracted with someone. She had my full attention the entire morning.
The rest of the day was beautiful. Even when my older daughter came home they played well together with no fighting. Yesterday was also a great day. She asked me first thing if we were going to “Hang Out”! 🙂
So if all the time-outs and spankings and every form of discipline is not working, you may want to evaluate the time being spent with your child. They are very sensitive to that and don’t always have the communication skills to say “Hey mom I need you to spend some time with me. ” The tantrums and attitudes are their way of telling you something is not o.k.
I quite identify with this article. Children love it when we give them the attention they need. I believe as parents we need to make out time for them as much as we can in order to make them feel valued.