Have you ever heard the insult “You fight like a girl”? Well, have you ever seen a mother of any species fight when her child has been threatened. No man has ever been so tough. While women may not be as physically strong as men, God has created a resolve and inner strength in women that rivals any man’s muscle. Thus the saying, “Behind every good man is a good woman”. It is her inner-strength and resolve, not his muscle, that has pushed through to greatness. Genesis clearly shows that women are not the problem, but the solution. God says “It is not good for man to be alone”, and then he proceeded to create the beautiful specimen called WOMAN!Therefore, I have always been confused by so-called “feminist”. The outspoken groups who obviously hate men, but apparently hate being a woman. And while I am very confused by their contradictions, I am very much in favor of any gender or race doing or being anything they want to be. I believe if a woman wants to be President of the United States she can. ( However, I vote for my political leaders based on their ethics, morals, and political views, not their race or gender.)
With two girls, it is very important to teach them that they can do anything they want to do in life. So here is my thing. Why would I ever tell them they can do anything a man can do? Who ever decided that “man” was the standard for what can be accomplished. I say that my girls can do ANYTHING they want to do, period. This encompasses being an athlete, being a leader, being a scientist, being a construction worker, and also… being feminine, being lady-like, being a Princess, liking the color pink, and choosing it as the color to paint their fingernails.
Lisa Bevere’s book, “Fight Like A Girl, The Power Of Being A Woman” helps best define my beliefs of being a woman; we have something to offer this world that no man can. How can a woman feel good about being female when society, including “feminists”, paints it as a negative thing? Why is it that our success as a woman is measured and weighed by that of a man?
So my desire for this generation of young women is to swing the pendulum of the feminst movement into balance. I want to teach my daughter that she can be anything she wants to be in life, Doctor, Lawyer, Minister, Athlete, U.S. President, ballet dancer, Olympic Champion of Catapulting, or Stay-At-Home-Mom and Devoted wife. Whatever she desires to be is encouraged by me. (I would discourage the pole dancer thing, seems degrading no matter what your views :)) I want to help her embrace femininity and know that she has something to offer to society because she is a strong woman, not in spite of it. I want our daughters to view femininty as our greatest strength. Instead of my girls trying to adapt to the ill-fitted mold of a man, I want them to see the power God has given them to make their mark on the world… as a woman.
I want it to be clear here that I do no hate men, or think them less than women. I have a wonderful husband who has, and still is encouraging me in my dreams and desires for my life. He understands, as I have said before, that being a mother and wife is only part of my dreams for my life. Not only do my girls have a mom that believes they can be anything they want to be but also a dad that feels this way too! That is the real success of women’s fight for equality. While I know that their is still bigotry and men who think the “little lady should take her place”, I think this breed is dying out.
I guess this is my point… We are equal, but we bring different things to the table. It is ok for my girls to look like a girl, and still be equal to a man. She owns who she is, and what makes her equal is that while she may not do the same things he does, she has something to offer that he needs, and that without her he is incomplete. (Uggh! I just thought of “Jerry Maguire”). This is how God created us, so that we would need one another!
{Side note for Christians fighting the whole “Wives submit to your husbands”… Colossians 3:19 says for husbands not to be bitter to their wives. It also says in Ephesians 5:21 “Submit yourselves one to another…” then after the verse about submitting to your husband (Ephesians 5:22) It says “Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church.” Hello! Christ loves us so much that he was willing to lay down his life! Christ is loving and compassionate, and He wants to nurture the gifting He has put in you. So when Paul says “Wives submit to your husbands..” He gets the men to. He is saying we ALL need to submit to one another. Then he talks to the wife, then the husband, then the children. In that order. I can divulge more scriptures and arguements about the equality the bible shows for women if you let me know you are interested. (My DAD 🙂 , taught me very well in this area.) But the point here is that it has been taught wrong!
I am a nurturer, it is my definition of personality. (Seriously Myer’s Briggs, who’s different personality types are non-gender related, says my type is “Nurturer”) So I love my choice to be the “traditional” stay-at-home mom and wife.My “place” is at home with my daughters because it is where I desire to be. I am good at working with children, did so before my girls came along, so why would I not want to pour into my own. But do not be misguided that my husband takes that for granted, or thinks he is superior. All I have to do is get sick for one day and he realizes I bring as much to the table as he does. 🙂
I encourage all women and mother’s to read Lisa Bevere’s book. She is a smart, witty, strong woman, with alot of sense. She has several series’ on women and girls. One great book, and series, she offers is “Kiss the Girls, and Made Them Cry”. It is geared towards young women between 12 and 21. Helps mothers discuss topics girls need, and want, to know about. Some areas include the importance of sexual purity, masturbation and oral sex, among other things. (Topics as a Christian southern woman I am embarrassed to write abut much less talk about them. But I know my day is coming, sooner than I want it to.) These are things girls are curious about, and need to hear about from the right sources. She helps bring healing to those who have already made mistakes they wish they could change, and how to rise above them. (Sharing her own testimony)
First of all, when God said, “It is not good for man to be alone”, He was looking into the future and saw men forgetting to pick up their kids from school, confused about what to do with them when Mom isn’t around or forgetting they have kids at all (ever seen a man zone out in front of a football game or computer?). If God intended for his reproduction plan to work he was going to need women for survival of the species. Smart thinking.
Obviously anyone who has ever said, “hits like a girl” didn’t have a mom who spanked. Thank your lucky stars ’cause my mom had an upper swing that would have left Andre’ Agassi in awe. I totally deserved it. I’m surprised their aren’t more female power hitters in pro-baseball. If their were there would be no need for bats. Mothers can use anything within reaching distance and bring the sting. I heart Moms.
I say we rebel. The next time a man says we do ANYTHING like a girl, women should immediately hog tie him and drag him to one of our fru-fru salons, strap him to a table and have EVERYTHING with hair on it waxed. (Reference 40 year old virgin).
Til then I say we start saying, “eh, he hits like a guy or throws like a guy”. I also think it’s true that we stop letting men set the standard. Who wants to be a man?
A few months back their was a womens rights march and they all looked like they had just come from licking the welcome mat at a greasy Waffle House. Instead of reveling in their femininity and all the traits that make us different they all looked bitter…and so did their daughters. This needs to change if the purpose is to be valued for what we, as women, can contribute.
Here’s a few good reasons why it’s great to be a woman:
Every guy who ever dumped you will die first.
If you have to be home in time for Grey’s Anatomy, you can say so, out loud.
Hugh Jackman
If you marry someone twenty years younger, you’re aware that you look like an idiot.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses and go home without too much questioning because “I have cramps”.
We don’t pass gas to amuse ourselves.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
“Behind every good man is a woman standing their rolling her eyes.”
Bless their hearts.
Angel – this struck a chord with me. I’ve jolted you on Ethically Speaking. You have a whole post! Your daughters are lucky to have a mother who wants them to be whatever and whoever they wish to be.
I’m, according to Myers-Briggs, “The Protector”. Me? Protective?
noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Enjoyed the additions to your entry dear.
Angel, this is an awesome blog entry! I often feel outnumbered in my household (hubby, 2 sons), but I like to think that I’ve given my boys an example of how strong a woman can be. It’s just as important to teach our sons these lessons about women, as it is to teach our daughters!
Just As important, is sooo true! If I am going to raise a daughter who believes she can be anything she wants to be, their has to be men who feel this way too! I had a really good laugh when I mowed the grass one day. I was keeping my niece. And She and my daughter Emily, both 4, kept saying “you are so silly, mommy”, or “Aunt Angel Men are supposed to mow the grass.” I asked, who taught you that?” We had, because their daddy’s were the only ones they had ever seen do it. I asked again, “has your daddy ever cleaned a toilet or cooked dinner?” “Yes!” “Then I can cut the grass, and in my high heels with a dress on if I want too.” ( I am picturing a desperate housewives moment here.) They LAUGHED! Even when Sydney went home, she told her mom and dad how silly aunt Angel was for cutting the grass. Her mom, my sister, said “well Aunt Angel cut the grass along time before Uncle Ben came along”. That was one of those moments where I am reminded they form their opinions about life, and the way things are more around what they observe us doing, than what we tell them. They learned a good observation lesson that day.