Anecdotes From Mom

This morning I went into my seven year old daughter’s room. As I turned on lights to wake her up, I gave her a kiss on the forehead and said in a sweet voice “Emily it’s time to get up sweetie.” She pulled the covers over her head to protect herself from the light and grumbled “I don’t want to get up.” After I explained, still in a sweet voice, “I know darlin’ but you must get up. We have school today!” She began throwing every complaint at me she could think of to prolong the getting up process. “I am tired, I never get to sleep in, I do not like school” and finally “I miss Mary Grace!” (Her best friend last year who did not return to her school this year) I then became frustrated and said in a more stern voice, “O.k. Emily that is enough. It is time to get out of bed and get ready for school. Here are your clothes, I am going to make your breakfast.”

About that time my 3 year old bounded into Emily’s room. She was still adjusting her eyes to the light, silky and baby doll in tow she said in a happy voice “Good Morning mommy”! “GOOD MOOOOOORRRRNNING!!!” I replied with a big smile and arms wide open ready to receive her in my arms and give her a big hug and kiss. As I was kissing Anna and loving on her so, Emily sat up in the bed and with a grumpy attitude said “You don’t ever say good morning to me like that!” Instead of responding to that statement at that moment I told her again to get dressed and I would see her in the kitchen when she was ready.

When daddy came downstairs and into the kitchen where both girls were eating breakfast, a similar scenario presented itself. Emily, grumpy and pouty, and Anna beaming waiting to greet daddy when he walked in. Anna being the first one to receive daddy’s love and hugs, because she hopped out of her seat to run to him, and Emily whining because Daddy did not hug her first.

Now, we all know this is manipulative at worst, and jealousy at best, but I try to address these things so that it does not fester into a long time feeling of “You love her more than me” feelings.

In the car on the way to school, while Emily and I were alone, I began to explain why she does not receive the same greeting as Anna does.

“Mommy wants to talk with you Emily about your attitude this morning. I want you to know that I understand how you felt this morning about how I greet Anna every morning with a big smile on my face, and with excitement in my voice to see her. And I understand that you may feel that I do not greet you with the same excitement, but I would like to explain why this is.”

A) You are 7 and she is 3. You are Emily and she is Anna. You are different ages, and different people so you are going to be treated accordingly. When you were 3, I greeted you the same way I do now. I sing songs about God giving us a brand new day and that it is time to get up. I kiss you on your forehead and tell you Good Morning. The reason for this is simple, you do not like to wake up in the mornings, so I try to wean you into waking up. Anna on the other hand is different. She is out of the bed and greeting me before she even let’s her eyes adjust to the light. She comes to me before I even get a chance to come to her. So she always surprises me, and I respond accordingly.

B) Anna received a greeting equal to the greeting she gave me. When I came into your room, you were poutty, and resistant to me being there waking you up. Anna on the other hand greeted me with excitement and running to love on me.

C) I want you to know that because you are 2 different people and in 2 different stages in your lives, I will probably always respond and act differently to each of you. But always know, and never let the devil tell you anything different; Mommy loves you just as much as I do Anna.

And then it hit me between the forehead like a brick. (At this point I actually hit my forehead with my hand as if to say “DUH!”) God did it again.

He said:

I do not love my children less than anyone of them, but I do have to handle and deal with each child differently according to who they are and where they are in life.

I receive them in the same manner in which they greet me. Some are more resistant to my presence and some are seeking me out. Though I respond differently, I am not angry with the grump. But rather I am patient to let them work through their grumpiness, and am excited to see those who greet me with excitement.

I will pour into each of my children equally according to what they expect to receive.

O.k. I will let you chew on that! 🙂