A Marathon Adoption of Epic Proportions…Standing in the Middle of the Hope

Last month I began sharing with you the beginning of my journey through international adoption. I will continue that thread this month. Maybe I’ll finish, Maybe I won’t, we shall see together. Let me begin this portion by saying again, this is not an article of what to do or not to do in an international adoption. It is simply my adoption journey.

God put this child in my life for a purpose. My Mitchell Feri’s life is destined to be linked to mine forever. Remember this as you read about my Marathon Adoption of Epic Proportions.

When I saw the phrase “standing in the hope” as sign off of a friend’s e-mail it spoke to me in a very real way. I said “That is me. That is where I have been for the past 4 years.” It is where I live today. My journey during this adoption has been one with peaks of hope and valleys so low that I am not sure I can express in writing the pain that my heart has felt. This month I’ll attempt to share some about just Standing in the Hope in the middle of this adoption journey.

In May of 2003 I drove with my husband to the closest INS office (now USCIS). It is a 45 minute drive that I know well now. It was my birthday so the day was somewhat memorable. It is now a major turning point in my life on a journey that God is bringing me through. The day was one of excitement and anticipation. I breezed through the fingerprinting and the filing of the I600. It is the fastest way to spend your birthday money plus some. I don’t recommend you do this girls. Paying for “paperwork” on your birthday is pretty much a downer. However, we did manage a nice celebratory lunch and to finally name our dear sweet boy from the list that we had compiled on the frig. Mitchell Joseph Feri. I embraced him and loved him even more that day. I had made the steps to bring him home where he belonged. In my heart, I was his mother.

I stepped into hope that day and let it begin to take me on this journey.

At the time that we applied for Mitchell Feri’s adoption there was an only an emergency ordinance decree for adoptions in Romania. Feri had all the necessary paperwork to comply with the emergency ordinance so I felt confident that we would see him home within a year, maybe less. I went about collecting all the the documents that were required while we waited for our INS approval. Some adoptive moms call this the “labor”, well, it is a lot of laboring and notarizing and signing. The ream of questions you have to answer just from your social worker is enough to make you want to scream.

If you asked my then 5 year old son….How do you get a brother? He would have said paperwork. That’s how they come at the Krause House. Paperwork. More parents should consider adoption. It cuts out “the talk” for a few extra years.

Finally all the paperwork was complete, our INS approval came, and all the precious pieces of paper were sent to Romania to our son’s caregiver to be translated. Along with that was wired a lump sum of money to cover most of the cost of the adoption.

I drew in a long breath that day as the DHL counter person assured me it would get there. I am not sure that I have exhaled yet.

The Romanian Government doesn’t let you breath much. Our paperwork was registered in October of 2003. Well within the time frame of the emergency ordinance; I was told I might see my son by Christmas. I bought him gifts to put under the tree…just in case. And I stood in the hope that this Christmas the Krause House would have 1 more reason to celebrate.

Across the ocean, my sweet boy had met his family via a video and Bonika Susie in September of 2003. He was elated to have a forever family and embraced us. Carrying around our pictures and telling everyone that he has a family in America. We sent his Christmas with the same group that had traveled the previous year and celebrated over the phone with I love you’s and miss you’s.

December slid into January . The news was good and I lived each day thinking that I would get the call to come to Romania to pick up my Mitchell Feri. I planned my life around it. Put things on hold because we didn’t want to book “that big vacation”. Mitchell Feri would need time to settle in to his new home. The attachment books said…no major travel for at least 6 months, sometimes a year. I read everything I could get my hands on about attachment issues and talked to old caregivers of Mitchell Feri’s that had moved stateside. I even did a unit with my son on Romania and we made a chart to help us communicate with him through signs etc.

The Word says “When you have done all that you can do…just stand.” Needless to say I was doing some standing. International adoption sometimes has the longest “nesting period”. I guess God has me going for the record. As we move into our next home, I have decided that Mitchell Feri needs a older boy room…so he will already have had a room redecoration by the time he comes home. To stand during that 1st year…. I kept the hope alive by staying busy.

In the summer of 2004 Bonika Susie approached me about going to meet Mitchell Feri with the mission team in November. Mitchell Feri’s caregiver agreed that this would be a good idea and would show intent, on our part, to adopt. It could even cut down on time of stay when we returned to bring him home. Whenever that would be……The Romanian Government had been back and forth so many times I had lost count.

I began the process of getting ready for an international trip and the adventure of meeting my son. A close friend of mine that is also adopting from Dove House decided to make the journey with me. For this I am always eternally grateful. Had I not had Jan at my side during that trip, I could not have walked away from my sweet boy.

God is gracious to us in so many ways and even then He provided a way for me to Stand in the Hope.
I trust that you will come back next month and hear more about this journey and how I met my 2nd son.

This posting is dedicated to all those adopting moms who wait. Especially if you are waiting for a Romanian child.
And thanks Christy for “the phrase”. I will Stand in the Hope with you today. I believe that God has enough to go around for us all.