Bringing Out the Best in Others

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”
-Goethe

When I was a teen there was a girl who always stunk, always dressed badly, and was a social outcast. I remember my dad said “treat her as if she were already the prettiest girl in school”. Within a few weeks of just befriending her, she did change. Later I found out my sister had a similar experience, where the girl became one of the most popular girls in the class. They began to live up to the expectations set before them.

We want God to see our heart and not always our actions, and He does. Especially when we screw up we want God to see us as what we want to be instead of what we are, and He does. But you know what stinks about that? The one you hate, the one you struggle to forgive, the one that has hurt you so bad, God sees them the same way He sees you, in the heart. We want God to forgive us, to love us unconditionally even when we screw up, God loves that person the same way. When God said “…Whosoever believes in Him should have everlasting life” (John 3:16) The next verse does not say “except for those that hurt Angel, they are all going to hell”. Admit it, that is all how we think, and wish God thought.

Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, think about the difference your life would have if others treated you as the person you want to be instead of the person you are. Imagine for a moment if they treated you as the one to be respected, the one to go to for advice, the one who was a strong business person. Do you think you would live up to those expectations?

I have found that both in my family, and my husband’s, that they see us and treat us differently than our friends. And I respond differently to my family than with my friends. My sister has asked why do we treat each other worse than we would treat a complete stranger. Why? Because a total stranger will let me be who I want to be. My family has me in a box from my childhood, or even from my recent past that defines who I am, and I respond accordingly.
My sister has started developing a relationship with a couple that have been friends of mine for about a year now, and she is finding out how differently they think about us, versus how our family views us. It’s interesting, because I think she begins to see us just a little differently.

Imagine how this could affect your relationship with your spouse, or children. Think of how you would treat your husband if he were always romantic and thoughtful, always helped with the children and did the unexpected without having to ask you. Do you have that picture in your head? Now, what if you started treating him that way right now, before he did anything? Do you think it would change how he treated you? Do you know that studies show while the number one thing a woman needs is love, the number one thing a man needs is honor and respect? What if you began telling him how much you appreciate him helping with the kids and what kind of feeling you get when he cleans the dishes, do you think this would change how he felt about cleaning the dishes?

What about the estranged relationship with a family member, or friend, or someone who has hurt you. What if God could show you how He sees that person? Do you think you could see them differently? Do you think you would pray for them differently? Do you think you would treat them differently?