Community: Let’s Have Coffee

I love Starbucks! It is my all time favorite place to go. If I need a break, or need a place to just sit and talk with a friend it is my first choice of meeting place. Why? Because Starbucks does not just sell coffee, they sell a feeling, a feeling of community.

The company knows that emotion, not logic, powers the decision to pay $3.22 for a double-tall latte, extra hot with a shot of sugar-free vanilla. The company’s campaign turns coffee into community. . It’s a place without the stresses of the home or the office, a neutral ground where there are always “friends” behind the counter. In our largely impersonal, digital and ethereal world, returning to the homey confines of one’s own Starbucks, staffed with people who care enough to remember something about us, provides a primal human connection.
John D. Markman

John Markman is right. Starbucks makes millions not on coffee but on a basic need that God has put in each of us, yet so many lack. We have internet and television , ipods, and video games to keep us distracted. We think we are plugged in, yet isolated unto ourselves. No matter how many conveniences there are and opportunities to avoid human contact, this is what is most desired. Relationship, companionship, community.

It is a basic need, right after breathing, water, and food. We need others! God said it was not good for man to be alone. The only thing in his creation that he recognized was not good! (Genesis 2:18) John Ortberg describes it this way:

The human being is in a state of perfect intimacy with God. Each word he and God spoke with each other is filled with closeness and joy…Yet the word God uses to describe him is “alone”… apparently, according to the writer of Genesis, God creates inside this man a kind of “human shaped” void that God himself will not fill…even though this man was in a state of sinless perfection, he was “alone”.

We need each other. We need the support of one another. We need to share our experiences, our knowledge, and our pain. As I stated in an earlier post, found here, “Isolation unto ourselves can cause us to lose perspective”. We may try to hide behind the masks and show others what we think they want to see. The problem is we are all walking around pretending to be what we think the other wants to see, but if one of us would dare to let down our mask we would find we are not as different as we thought.

The irony of the masks is that although we wear them to make other people think well of us, they are drawn to us only when we take them off. ~John Ortberg

When I first got married Ben and I did not have many friendships. We had recently left our church, and my closest, oldest friends all lived in different states. At first, I admit, I felt sorry for myself. I refused to get out of my comfort zone, because of fear of rejection. I finally came to a point where my sister and I were not talking, for one reason or another, and I found myself very lonely. If you know me at all, you would know I am a people person. I can find a party like a hound dog finds a coon! I finally came back to a basic philosophy: If you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend. I began seeking out people to be friendly to. Not just to go up and talk to, but when someone had a baby or if someone died, I was the first one to sign up to take a meal. Need help with a conference? What can I do? I have to say that I am so thankful to be overwhelmed with such great relationships in my life. When you be a friend you get a friend! You do not have to be the most outgoing person to do these things.

So many moms, especially stay at home, have a longing to have relationship with other women. If you feel this way, chances are someone you know does too. Reach out, find someone to invite to have a cup of coffee. You may find a new friend.