Connect

When my first daughter was about 2 years old, this is what a typical week day at home looked like for us:

7 am – Rise and Shine Emily is ready to eat Breakfast

7:30 am – we ate and watched tv in our jammies

8 – 12 We played with Emily’s toys, cleaned up, maybe went for a walk around the neighborhood, came back to color, paint etc.

12:30 Daddy came home for lunch (Hallelujah)

1pm – Daddy went back to work, Emily went for a nap.

3pm Emily awake watch tv, play with Emily’s toys,

5pm – Cook dinner, and anticipate daddy’s return

This was great for the first few weeks, and then I began to go stir crazy doing the same thing everyday. My husband thought I had split personalities because one day I was saying “that’s it I am going to get a real job” and the next day (once he said “yeah I think that might be good for you”) I was crying at the thought of putting her in daycare.

Then when my second daughter came along and my first daughter went to Preschool, I was suddenly a lot busier and yet still bored to tears some days. Since then I began to ask myself “Do other moms who choose to stay home feel the same way?” I don’t really want a full time job, but I definitely need a bit more entertainment than Barney. Then I would feel guilty that changing poop and cleaning paint off the walls (and occasionally poop off the walls) for our children is not fulfilling us. After all, shouldn’t we be happy, we have everything we imagined having. Is this a high maintenance problem that many working moms would like to have? Well????…..

God did create us to care for our family, He also created us for more relationship than just our children and husbands. After my second daughter came along I knew I had to do something, or get a job outside of the home… Something had to give.

After listening (and talking to) a lot of moms I discovered something about our crazy gender…. Other moms have the same problem. We all struggle with being disconnected, but do not know how to get connected and staying connected. Mom’s had the same complaints I had, “If I have to watch Barney one more time I am going to puke purple”; and “I just wish I had someone that could talk with more than one word syllables”.

Everyone has these thoughts and are afraid to express it right? (I hope so. Otherwise I am a little red-faced 🙂 ) Let’s get real and be honest, it is what we really need after all. We need each other. We need to know what the other moms are going through, have been through, and have survived. When I walk away from my mom-friends, and my mom groups, I realize my children are not possessed, this too shall pass, and we all have to walk out our parenting with faith and trembling and pray for grace.

We have the double-edged sword of our “routine” that so often keeps us from reaching out to other moms. We have our comfort zone, and though we long to relate to each other we don’t dare to step out of the comfort zone. So I want to challenge you today to step out of that comfort zone, call that friend, or acquaintance that you want to get to know better, and go have lunch. (Without children if possible. Go in together and hire a babysitter, or as I have said on other occasions “Mommy’s Morning Out” is very Cost effective, and many allow you to do “drop-in’s”) You will feel refreshed, a better mom and wife. Remind yourself that she too is probably as hungry for relationship as you are.