This will be helpful, especially if you are having struggles in discipline, or difficult behaviors.
1) Are expectations clearly communicated?
Have a sit down and clearly tell your children what you expect of them. If you went to a job and the boss gave you no direction and then yelled at you because you had not gotten something finished, wouldn’t you feel confused?
2) List 4 primary expectations for your household.
(Example: NO hitting, pushing, or biting!) Write out the “House Rules” and place it where it can be seen. Discuss and decided on the rules with your spouse before sitting down with the kids.
3) Do you have clear consequences for misbehavior?
It is good that you and the children know what the consequence is for each behavior, it dissolves irrational consequences in anger or frustration.
4) List the consequence that corresponds to the expectation.
Possibly involve your children in this. Ask them what they think should happen if they lie to mommy or daddy. Then, when it is time to execute the discipline, you can remind them that they agreed to the consequence.
5) Do you have any reward system for meeting and/or exceeding expectations? Do you encourage your children to continue to behave?
6) List rewards for meeting the expectations.
7) If a child does not do as asked the first time, what happens?
You will always have to tell your child what to do as many times as you are willing to before administering the consequences of not listening.
8) Do we allow our children to make some choices, or do we dictate all behaviors?
It is good at a certain age to allow your children to make choices such as “May I take the trash out at commercial”. If it is not imperative that they take it out right that moment, then allow them some freedom of when, however have them say when they will do it, this forms an agreement with you. If they do not do it when they agree to, they loose the privilege of making that choice.