Recently my husband and I met a sweet couple and had dinner with them this past week. She was sharing how God began convicting her of certain areas in her life. The place she started was with her friends. She literally went through her cell phone and would look at a name and ask herself, “Does this person lift me up or do they bring me down?” She would then delete their numbers if they did not lift her up. This reminded me of Tracy Hurst’s post: Friend Check.
You may find that maybe you do not need to cut people out of your life, but you need to protect your most sacred thoughts and feelings to only a choice few. My disappointment in my friends and family comes when I try to share my excitement about something in my life, and they do not share it back. Instead protect that, and share it with those you know will share in it with you.
You need someone who will be honest with you and be willing to confront you on your junk, but you also need someone who will always be uplifting. My sister says my best friend, Shalom, would find something positive to say to me if I had just shot someone. And it is probably true. In fifteen years, she has always seen my potential through all my mistakes. When I am doing great, she cheers me on, and when I screw up she can see how God will use it in my testimony. “Your mess will be your message”, she likes to say. If you do not have someone like that in your life, you may have to eliminate some negative relationships to make room for the good ones.
We can become disappointed in our friends when we need them and they do not come through for us, I have found that having many friends that all possess different qualities allows you to draw on the friend that can fill the need you have. Even my husband can not fill all the needs in my life. Some are gifted in bringing me meals and sending cards when there is a death or birth, while others are fun to go to the movies with. Some will pull on you more while others will pour into you. Some will laugh with you and others will comfort you. A few will be in your small circle of knowing your everything.
Identifying which friend is which will help you in the relationship you share with them. Knowing the gift they possess to bless your life will keep you from being disappointed in them. You will look to them for the thing they can give you and not for what they can not, and identify the friends that do not bless your life at all. There may be relationships that you are pouring into, but that still bless your life. We must be a river that receives and gives, so giving is still a blessing to your life. However it is important to be honest with ourselves about the type of relationship so we do not find ourselves disappointed.
I always struggled when my dad would try to tell me that I should not tell people everything about my life. When my pastor would tell me to be careful of who I was transparent with, I did not understand how to do that. I felt like in order to be “real” with people I had to be willing to be an open book. As you may know, that can get you hurt easily. I think I am beginning to find the balance between being real and not spilling my guts to everyone. The key is that we should be genuine with everyone, transparent with a few.
I do agree with that angel. I do am going through the same situation. I am now finding the balance. My husband tells me the samething. That I do not need to share my whole life with everyone. I think that I try to keep an open mind about people and positive and then I get hurt in the end. So, I too am learning to be cautious and noticed through conservations who I can share with and who I cannot share with. Before, moving here. I had to shave off all the people who were so called friends to us because they were really bringing us down. ANd, we wanted to grow in our walk with Christ. I am glad we did that because we really are growing in our walk with Christ. However, I am still praying for GOd to send the right people in my life. And, I the same for others.
Yes, I do that. Mainly it’s because I, too often, know that there will always be people in our lives to judge and ridicule and point a finger at us when we are human. I’ve always wanted to be a soft place to land.
Life is quite literally a journey. We’re going to make mistakes, it’s part of being human. If we are willing to learn from them and then allow God to put a positive spin that produces a positive outcome, then it becomes a lesson learned that others can benefit from while giving us the opportunity to grow.
This friend of yours is a catalyst. I make sure that people grow in their strengths and don’t get stuck in their mistakes.
“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” – Darren Hileman
Thanks for the props!
I love this blog, because the past week was an eye opener for me. I try my best to be friendly to everyone. Some people take that for granted. A neighbor of mine who I really did not consider a friend, but I often went out of my way to do nice things for her. I wanted her to know that there are some genuine people who just care about others. Even in all I found evidence that all she could do is talk nasty behind my back. I knew this already from past experiences with her. So what i had to do was to seperate myself from her, because when I was poring into her all she was doing was taking. I feel good about my decision as hard as it was, because the bible says to love. This was a word of encouragement for me a I really beleive that God sent it right on time. Sometimes you find yourself pouring and pouring and never receing tha tencouragement. Now I know what to watch out for. I love you guys and have a Blessed Day