Do you remember Mcdonald’s old slogan, some time before “Da da da da da, I’m lovin it!”? It was “You deserve a break today.”
I know you are continuously reading that it is important to take time for yourself, nurture your spirit, have a quiet time each day… The truth is this is so much more easier said than done, isn’t it? I mean I want to be a great parent. I read parenting books all the time, and am always finding new information on training and disciplining my child. I want to be a good wife, loving and supporting, and giving of myself. But, how much have I done to nurture me? How many books have I read on becoming the woman God created me to be? How many stars have I even tried to touch? Not many, I am afraid. I can’t even take enough time for myself to go to the gym, and they have childcare! How many of you, like me, have pushed to be the best wife and mom, the best business woman, the best friend, the best sister, the best daughter, only to find yourself at the end of it all exhausted and resenting the lack of appreciation for all you have done, and those you have done it for? How many arguments with your spouse start with, “you don’t even have a clue at what all I do”? How many times have you thought, “If I have to do one more thing…?”
To share a bit of personal struggle… I have found myself in a vicious cycle of wanting to do everything for everyone, and burning out. In my attempts to do so much for others, I end up burning both ends of the candle, and then turn on the ones that I love and want to care for the most!
I vote we Stop the madness! While I am the guiltiest of them all for falling into this trap we must find away to have peace with ourselves. It is ok to say “no” sometimes. I know it is such a hard word to be so small, but we must learn how to use it. And it is ok to delegate; all great leaders do it. (You would be surprised what your husband would do if you would just ask, and not be a control freak about it … and let’s admit it, we all have a little control freak in us.) We have to take back our time, and find at least 30 minutes to meditate, pray, take a bubble bath, something that requires no thinking or movement.
Here is my challenge: at least 2 nights this week ask your spouse to put the kids to bed; you go into your room for 30-45 minutes and find something you enjoy, maybe scrapbook or read something light-hearted (My new favorite is “Stop dressing your six year old like a skank, and other delicate words of southern wisdom”). Just 2 nights, for 30-45 minutes. No guilt that hubby has to tear himself away from the computer or t.v. to tend to his offspring. (Let HIM read “Sex Begins In The Kitchen”, or listen to it as this link goes to an audio version, by Dr. Kevin Leman, it will change both of your lives!)
Please let me know how you do, and I will let you know on my part too!
Unfortunatey, I think this is a very common trait in Work at Home Parents! Having that office right there all the time (so accessible) just makes you feel like you should be working more. It’s hard to go even one day without turning on that computer!
I’m certainly going to try and take your advice this week! If I can take one week at a time, maybe I can develop it into a habit!!
I have a cousin who has 5 children. In order to keep her sanity she takes an hour a day completely to herself. When her husband gets home from work (he’s an FBI agent) she either scrapbooks, reads, or finds somewhere quiet to nurture herself.
I also think it’s important to maintain friendships with people who encourage and support the decision to feed the parts of yourself that you enjoyed BEFORE you even got married and had children (dance, art, etc.)
Sometimes guilt steps in and makes us (as women) feel as if we have to earn that time or we feel guilty because there seems to be more pressing or more important things to do with the time.
Friends remind us that you can only give out of a full tank that’s been filled by what what feeds you.