A friend of mine sent me an article recently and wanted me to share my thoughts on the subject. “He’s Happier, She’s Less So” is simply about a research study to show who is happy and not happy, and why. In essence the study says that women 30 years ago were generally happier than they are now, and men are happier now than 30 years ago. The reason: with women being so much more prevalent in the work force, the responsibilities of home still sit on her shoulders. The following is a piece of the article…
These trends are reminiscent of the idea of “the second shift,†the name of a 1989 book by the sociologist Arlie Hochschild, arguing that modern women effectively had to hold down two jobs. The first shift was at the office, and the second at home… What has changed — and what seems to be the most likely explanation for the happiness trends — is that women now have a much longer to-do list than they once did (including helping their aging parents). They can’t possibly get it all done, and many end up feeling as if they are somehow falling short… But it does show just how incomplete the gender revolution has been. Although women have flooded into the work force, American society hasn’t fully come to grips with the change…Inside of families, men still haven’t figured out how to shoulder their fair share of the household burden. Instead, we’re spending more time on the phone and in front of the television.
From a Christian perspective, I think most women aspire to the Proverbs 31 woman. Well, so do I. She did work, not just the home responsibilities, but she bought fields, she traded things, she made and sold linen garments, and she provided for her family as well as the poor and needy. She truly used all the gifts God gave her to the benefit of her family. If you notice, though, she also had servants to help her with her home. This is what I stress to so many are the two mistakes in comparing ourself to this incredible woman. A) She did work! Which blows religious and chauvinistic theories out the window about a woman’s “place”. But then there is B) She had lots of help running all those businesses and the affairs of the home. It says how much spinning of thread she did, and the land buying, and she brings food from afar. But it doesn’t say anything about who cooked the meat she provided, or who cleaned the kitchen afterwards, or who washed the laundry that she had so finely made. Guess who it probably was…The servant girls she provided for. (Thus, if we want to fully fulfill that role, we need help. Either from “servants” or spouses. )
Now certainly we can not afford servant girls, and I do my own laundry and cleaning, and cooking. But I do not feel guilty about not knowing how to sew a button on a shirt, either. I think the problem both with the common misinterpretation of this scripture and today’s society is that as women we are expected to either be able to do it all as “supermom” or be shoved into a box we do not fit in.
Thus bringing me to yet another common mistake that women today make. We have the freedom for the first time in history as women to do whatever it is we feel compelled to do, but instead of stepping into God’s purpose for us, we measure ourselves to a man as our standard of success. Why? Here is another piece from this same article:
A big reason that women reported being happier three decades ago — despite far more discrimination — is probably that they had narrower ambitions, Ms. Stevenson says. Many compared themselves only to other women, rather than to men as well. This doesn’t mean they were better off back then…
(Just Happier) Women were in general less stressed, and happier 30 years ago than now, but they were only comparing themselves to other women. They became more stressed and less happy when they began comparing themselves to something they will never be, men. God did not recreate man as woman. He created woman to be unique and different than men. We are not unequal simply because we are different. Why does difference show inequality? Why does femininity mean weakness?
Read the full article by clicking on the link below:
Economic Scene
He’s Happier, She’s Less So
By DAVID LEONHARDT
Published: September 26, 2007