Happy Birthday Emily!

Today is September 11th. I want to express my sympathy for the families who lost loved ones, and gratitude to the soldiers attempting to keep a day like Sept. 11th from repeating itself.

For us, it is a tragic day for the nation, but not to over shadow the joy of our own family. Emily Lynn Cope was born on September 11th, 2001 at 4:40 a.m. She is six years old today. For part of her remembering (or learning) about this day, she wore her red white and blue proudly to school. She also took her pages from her baby album which contains some images from September 11th to let her know of the events of that day. We tell her two major events happened on that day. Many men and women lost their lives. But first, there was the miracle of Emily.

Today, as we did six years ago, we both grieve and celebrate. We pray that Emily’s life will mark this world in a positive way as much as that day was marked for grief. No life can be replaced for sure. But that day, for us, is marked with hope in the midst of tragedy. Showing God’s goodness even when it seems like evil reigns.

Happy Birthday Emily!

Emily Lynn

The First Meal Of The Day

We all know that “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day”. If we have not heard it from educators, or Doctors, we have heard it from our own parents. While I am not a big breakfast eater, I have come to realize the importance of it. Not only for my sake, but especially for my children.

With obesity being an epidemic, especially and scarily among children, here is something you may be interested in:

It is scientifically proven that fat burning processes are most active in the morning, and fat storage – in the evening. So if you eat a healthy breakfast in the morning, you will boost your metabolism to burn fat and calories, and will give your body a good energy start for the day. What is more, eating healthy breakfast will help you maintain normal and healthy body weight. You will avoid making bad food choices for breakfast – poor quality and quantity of breakfast meals, which are the main reasons for overweight and obesity. ~WeightLossAdvisor.com

According to Dr. Thomas Booth, studies have shown that eating breakfast gives children the nutritional boost they need to get the learning process going – to stimulate learning – and there are other benefits as well. Children who ate breakfast (when compared to those who rarely ate breakfast):

    Learn better (and have improved memory)
    Achieve more (better math and reading scores – almost a whole letter grade higher; and better standardized test scores)
    Participate in the class more often (and have increased attentiveness in the classroom and less anxiety)
    Behave better (less disciplinary actions or incidences and are more socially developed)
    Attend school more often (less absences and tardiness)
    Visit the school nurse less often


Think about this, skipping breakfast can mean going more than 16 hours without anything to eat. This, of course, means no fuel for your child’s body to function properly. Your children have no energy for running and playing, or even for brain power in school. So the phrase “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day” is not just a cliche’.

Breakfast helps to jump start the metabolism which not only effects your ability to burn calories. Burning calories is only a bi-product of what the metabolism does. Metabolism causes the entire body to function properly. Sending the energy your body needs to your brain, muscles, and other places in your body. Not eating causes the metabolism to slow down because it is afraid of starving and not having the energy it may need later. Therefore it reduces the amount of energy it allows your body to burn. Not having this needed energy causes your body to slow down, meaning you can not concentrate, you can not retain as much information, and you can not be as active. And, of course, it means you will not burn as many calories in a day.

So while breakfast may seem to be the overlooked part of a hectic routine, it really needs to be the first thing to be considered. It can be as simple as cereal, just try to keep it healthy. A healthy cereal can contain all the necessary nutrition.(My girls love Kashi cereals, they have protein, fiber, and are low in sugar. Plus they are getting the milk. Did you know that for a toddler, and young children, the fat in milk is important for brain development?)  Eggs are another natural and fast breakfast. It takes less than five minutes to scramble a few eggs with cheese on it. A piece of whole wheat toast with it can complete a healthy breakfast. Even a smoothie before you head out the door can contain all you need to start their day in a healthy way, or a glass of Carnation Instant Breakfast with milk, the nutrition is pretty good. And while it is important to be healthy, if all your child will eat is the left overs from last night, it is better than eating nothing at all.

Interview With Rick Warren: Purpose Driven Life

The Following is a portion of an interview with Rick Warren. While I have not found the original interview, I have found many copies of it.

Rick Warren’s thoughts on life and purpose have been inspirational and controversial to many. I believe that his ideas as stated in this interview exemplify the “eternal perspective”. In the eyes of eternity everything in our life is only a blink of the eye. Prosperity and happiness are the things that God wants for our life, but not above character and relationship with Christ.

Interview with Rick Warren, “Purpose Driven Life ” author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California. In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body– but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act – the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is “my problem, my issues, my pain.” But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor , care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do.
That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.

Fun Friday: Hymn #365

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had All the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he Said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced With a smile, nearly laughing, “For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365, “Shall We Gather at the River.”

Have a great weekend, and stay out of the River!

Thankful Thursday: My favorite Starbucks Quote

Childhood is a strange country. It’s a place you come from or go to – at least in your mind. For me it has an endless, spellbound something in it that feels remote. It’s like a little sealed-vault country of cake breath and grass stains where what you do instead of work is spin until you’re dizzy. Lyall Bush
Executive director of Richard Hugo House, a center for writers and readers.

Found on the side of a Starbucks coffee cup, my sister’s and my eyes teared as we remembered our childhood in reading this quote. I remember in the summer time playing a game with my best friend, Melanie: The Spinning Game. We would spin until one fell down. If you fell down you could not get up until all but one was left standing. The last one spinning won the game. I can still smell the summer air, and see the lightning bugs as the sun was setting, and we were spinning ourselves sick…. and having the time of our lives.

I then wanted to share that with my daughters. Their laughter at simply spinning as fast as they can is such a joyful sound I cannot replace. While childhood may be a country that once you move away you can never be a citizen again, with your children and grandchildren you can visit now and again. Just don’t forget to visit before they move away, too.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Removing the Downy from Our Nest

“The Lord is like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.” (Deuteronomy 32:11)

An eagle, like other birds, creates a warm soft feather bed for their young to be born in. Then there comes a day when it is time for them to learn to fly and leave the nest. They know if they do not teach them to leave that nest, they will be open to the attack of a predator. Not knowing how to fly away, they would have no defense. So it is up to the mama to make the baby bird leave the nest no matter what it takes.

This particular verse is describing how the eagle shakes the nest, and removes all the downy and soft feathers leaving only the uncomfortable thorns. This leaves the bird two choices: he can sit and get sores and hurt from the thorns, or he can face the unknown and spread his wings. But know that the mother eagle has spread her wings to catch them and carry them on her pinions, if need be. She has not left them even though they are no longer in the nest.

“God is more concerned with our condition than our comfort. At times He stirs up our nests to make our comforting things uncomfortable” (Lisa Bevere “Out Of Control and Loving It”) The warm soft nest will become a place we can no longer be in, what seems safe and secure may become a danger to us, no longer safe. A stumbling block that we depend on instead of God. Maybe a job, maybe a husband, maybe a Pastor. God does shake things to see what is real. Not for Him, but for us.

God removes the Downy from our nest and requires us to step out into the next thing. It is scary, and unknown, and we do not understand why He would allow us to be in pain. Once we move into the next place, when we are flying, we understand. He wasn’t causing us pain simply for the sake of pain. He saw beyond our comfort zone. He saw the potential that lie within us to FLY!

Do you feel like all the Downy has been removed from your nest? Everything around you hurts? Everything safe and secure stripped away from you? Then take heart, God must think you are ready to fly!

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

Creating Communication Through Goal Setting Together

 Yesterday Aby spoke about establishing fresh routines and getting back in the habit. This is actually an exciting time for me. While I have enjoyed summer, the break from routine, I am also glad to get back to some normalcy and structure.  I love the fall, it is my absolute favorite time of year. A time for cooler weather and being able to enjoy the outdoors. A time for old things to die away, and I always have a sense of refreshing in this time. I begin to feel rejuvenated.

My anniversary is also something that comes in the fall. It is a time for Ben and I to reflect on each other, our marriage, where we have come, and where we would like to go. Last year on our anniversary we decided to look at what we wanted for ourselves and our family, and write out some goals, and some pro-active ways to accomplish them. It was a great way to open communication for us, and together discuss where we are going together. I enjoyed it so much, and I look forward to doing it again.

As things begin to settle, and back to normal, you can also take some time to sit and talk about things with your spouse.  Write out the following questions, make it like a worksheet, and write out the goals you have. Put them on the refrigerator or somewhere in your house so you can remind yourselves where you are going, together.

1. Write out 5 goals you would like to achieve for your self in the next year.  (This is personal to each spouse)

2. Write out 5 goals you would like to achieve for the family in the next year. (This can be from potty training a child, to going to Disney World, to pay off so much debt.)

3.  Write out at least one step you can take for each goal, both personal and family. (Example: I want to lose weight, I commit to walk 3 times a week, and drink 8 glasses of water a day)

4.  Write out where you would like to be in 10 years. (This will help you not only be on the same “page” but allow you to dream a little.) Or what you would like to do in the next ten years. (Example: I want to go to New York at Christmas time)

5. Write 3 things you think needs to change for you to accomplish your 1 year, and ten year goals.

If you would like, you could even answer these separately and then come together to discuss them. Sometimes men need to think about these things a little. Of course these are just a few questions to get you thinking, you can add whatever you would like. Make it fun, no pressure, no right or wrong answers.

Back-to-school Organizing Tips

By Aby Garvey

Just like a fresh box of crayons, the new school year is ripe with possibility–the possibility to create something new. Fresh crayons and fresh starts–it’s a wonderful time of year! Take advantage of the clean slate in front of you by bringing some simple organizing strategies into your home, making the transition back-to-school even more invigorating. Sound like a plan? Let’s go.

Establish fresh routines. What’s working well in your daily routine…and what could use a pick-me-up? If mornings are chaotic (or just not your prime time of day) consider taking care of as many daytime preparations as possible the night before. Layout clothes. Pack lunches. Set out the breakfast dishes and cereal. Pack the backpacks. And so on.

Make your new systems kid-friendly so your young helpers can help you get things checked off your to-do list. (The more help you have, the more time everyone has for fun.) For example, carve out a spot on a low shelf in the pantry to store lunch boxes and lunch making supplies. Then, have your helper be responsible for putting away his empty lunch box at the end of the day or even packing lunch. Install low coat hooks so your child can hang up his own coat and backpack at the end of each day.

Create a homework station. If a task is simple to do, it’s more fun to do. Homework is no different. Decide on the best spot in your home to set up homework central. Take into consideration how involved you need to be with homework and your child’s style. Does he focus better with people around or when working on his own? Is he better suited to sit at a table or curled up on the couch with a lap desk? Once you have a place picked out, corral together handy homework tools and supplies into a nearby bin, cabinet or drawer. Stock up on age appropriate supplies such as pens, pencils, erasers, paper, crayons, markers, a ruler, a calculator, a dictionary, basic craft supplies and a pencil sharpener. Ask your teacher for ideas on supplies to keep on hand throughout the year to avoid last minute trips to the store for special supplies.

Create a system for school papers. There are two types of papers, those you need to take action on and those you’re keeping for future reference. Designate a convenient spot, like a command central binder, for items you need to act on or refer back to throughout the school year. Items like classroom rules, schedules, class lists, and teacher contact information will be right at home in the command central binder (and best yet, you’ll know right where these important papers are when you need them.)

For schoolwork and artwork you want to keep, I suggest a two-tiered approach. First, purge unwanted items as soon as they come in the door. Collect the possible keepers into a small storage bin. Go through your bin using a regular time interval that works for you, like once a week, once a month or once a quarter. Keep in mind, the more you accumulate, the easier it will be to keep fewer items–the best pieces will stand out from the crowd. On the other hand, if dealing with a big pile of paper is overwhelming to you (I’ve been there, too!) it may be simpler to go through your bin more frequently. For school papers and artwork you’re keeping indefinitely, a simple three-ring binder can house a year’s worth keepsakes in one simple, tidy system.

Do your homework everyday. That’s right Mom, you have homework, too. You know, all those papers that come home in the backpack each night? Homework. And it’s yours. Once you have your paperwork system set up, create a homework routine to help you and your kids stay on top of everything. Pick a time that works well for your energy level and fits with your other after school obligations–and then dig into those backpacks and get going. Take action on any paperwork that requires your attention. Sign and return permission slips. Add important dates to the family calendar. Pitch school work you no longer need…and accumulate those you want to hold onto for posterity sake into your collection bin.

Create a communication hub. Your communication hub can include a family calendar, command central binder, colored markers, pens and pencils, and a notepad for taking down phone messages. Consider color coding your family calendar by assigning each family member a color. If you’re a visual person who needs to see things to remember them, consider using a bulletin board for posting messages, invites and your calendar, or take advantage of your built-in magnetic board known as your refrigerator door. Keep phone messages neat and tidy by using a family message book, a covered composition book used to keep a running tab of phone messages and notes.

Create a put-away bin. Keep household clutter at bay by corralling items into a put-away bin. Assign one for each family member, or collect everything into a single bin, and take turns on put-away duty. Clearing out your bin each and every day will keep clutter at bay.

Remember not to forget. Create a simple system by the door to help you remember your new routine or special items you need to take with you each day: gym shoes on gym day, violin on music day, and snacks on snack day. Hang a bin or basket by your door to corral the items you need to remember, or create a fun little “don’t forget” door hanger with a built-in pocket for your daily checklist.

With these simple strategies, staying organized all school year is as certain as a fresh box of crayons on the first day of school. 😉

(Aby Garvey is a professional organizer and the owner of simplify 101, inc. Her mission is to help you create time and space for what matters most in your home and life. Aby is the author of the e-book “the happy scrapper – simple solutions to get organized and get scrapping!” Visit the simplify 101 website for organizing ideas and to subscribe to Aby’s organizing email newsletter.)

For All Of Us Who Attempt To Work Out!

Dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Have a great weekend!

Dear Diary,
For my sixtieth birthday this year, my daughter Rachel (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school softball champion 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit- ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air — then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It’s a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screamsbothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the “Stair Monster”. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She told some other lies too.

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny witch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine — I sank it.

FRIDAY:
I hate that cow Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the stupid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:

I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Rachel (the little brat) will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy. All I can say is, if God had wanted me to bend over, He would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds.

Potty Training

It has been awhile since I have talked about Potty Training, and since I am facing this dilemma with my now 2 1/2 year old, I thought it would be a great time to bring it up. Last year I wrote about Potty Training here, and listed some great tips. Since I have started with my dear little one (note the sarcasm) I decided to read my own advice.

There are some interesting ideas about Potty training. The most recent phenomenon is the “diaper-free” movement. The Associated Press wrote an interesting article about it Here is a little of the article:

Dominic is a product of a growing “diaper-free” movement founded on the belief that babies are born with an instinctive ability to signal when they have to answer nature’s call. Parents who practice the so-called “elimination communication” learn to read their children’s body language to help them recognize the need, and they mimic the sounds that a child associates with the bathroom.

“They teach them from birth? Oh, my God!” said 40-year-old Lisa Bolcato, as she held her 5-month-old daughter, Rose, at a park on Boston Common. “When you’re getting two hours of sleeps between feedings, I don’t think that you have the time to do it. You just make sure that your child’s healthy and happy and well-fed.”

Experts at the Child Study Center at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center say children younger than 12 months have no control over bladder or bowel movements and little control for 6 months after that.

“To be truly toilet-trained, the child has to be able to have the sensation that they need to go, be able to interpret that sensation and be able to then tell the parent and take some action,” said Wolraich, who is also editor of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ book on toilet training.

Isis Arnesen, 33, of Boston, has a 14-week-old daughter, Lucia, who is diaper-free. She said it can be awkward to explain the process to people, such as when she helped Lucia relieve herself in a sink at a public restroom.

While I try my best to stay open minded to new ideas about parenting techniques, I think I tend to lean more towards Lisa Bolcato’s statement. I am not completely familiar, nor have I really researched this philosophy, I just thought it was interesting to share as I am always looking for new ways to improve upon what I call “the most dreaded task of parenting!” I tried all sorts of things with Emily. The pee-pee party (Potty train your child in a day), was the most interesting failure. I came to realize there are no short cuts.

Other than what I listed in my last post there are only a few things I would like to add:

My Pediatrician says they know at 12 months the sensation of peeing and pooping, potty training is about control. They have to be in control, and we have to let them be. My niece is potty trained, my daughter is not. They are 2 weeks apart. The reason: One wanted to and the other one does not want to. Don’t become to overwhelmed or stressed out over it. I guarantee you they will not pee in their pants for the rest of their life. The more we stress, the more we try to control, the more they resist.

In addition there is a terrific book I found with lots of great advice; “The Potty Training Answer Book”. The entire book is written in question answer format, so even if you do not want to read an entire book you can easily find the answers to your question. It is a wonderful resource with over 200 most common questions.