Clean and Clutter Free, So I Can Be Me

Hello again. Last months post was about the meeting between my 2nd son and I had hoped to continue the story of our visit this month, but alas, life has kept me busy this summer. I thought I would just take a few moments to share about what God is saying in my life’s journey.

Summer is typically a time when I let things go around the house. Have tons of “hang out” days with my boys. Plan our week of family vacation. You know, the usual summer stuff. Unless you count reading home school catalogs by the pool as something constructive, I lead a fairly leisurely life during this time of year.

However, this summer God has been speaking to me about getting some things cleaned up and cleared out, in a very literal sense. The journey I have been on is one of clutter and the most unorganized part of my life journey to date. I had to search for the phone number to call the lady I have hired to come help me “dig out”. Thank the Lord she comes tomorrow. Strangely enough, I think that all the clutter in my life has come from being in permanent limbo with our 2nd son.

My dear friend, Melanie, heard me make an observation about this correlation and said “Maybe I had something there to deal with emotionally.” Well, that got me to thinking and praying. And what would you know that there is some validity to this clutter and emotional connection.

For me, I first have to get the clutter out and get organized. If I am honest with myself, I truly function better in a clean and clutter free zone. So first, I have tackled the clean portion of my problem. I hired a wonderful lady, Denise, to come into my home and do a deep clean last month. Denise just returned for a monthly clean this past Friday to help me maintain. Can I tell you how much better I feel knowing that my newly crawling little guy is scooting around on much cleaner floors? I feel fantastic. I can keep it maintained. No problem. I am no longer overwhelmed by the fact that the base boards need to be cleaned. Therefore I can deal with other aspects of home life much better.

I love you Denise…..even more than I did before.

Tomorrow comes the beginning to get organized and clutter gone phase. I will start in my oldest son’s room. He is gone to camp this week. He has already given instructions not to throw away this certain football and to please not donate all the stuffed animals. We’ll make our way through the house over the next few days and make plans to help me/us stay clutter free in our new home that we will move into in the fall.

After all this clearing out in the physical, I will head to the beach with 4 very dear friends for a time of relaxing and recharging. This will be the culmination of what I believe God has been working out in me this summer. I am so glad that I have been obedient and begun to clean up my life and home. I am expecting God to clean up the emotional turmoil of waiting 4 years for my beautiful 2nd son. I wouldn’t change Mitchell Feri being my son for anything, but the emotional toll has been huge. I am ready for the Lord to refresh me and fill me up again. I am ready to be the wife, mother, and friend that God intends me to be, again.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or emotionally undone. I encourage you to take a look at your life journey and see what God is saying to you. Then, I challenge you to take action.

Mel, this is an official thank you for the “kick in the pants” I needed. I love you, girl.

Fun Friday!… Women That Make Us Laugh

Today I share some great women’s quotes. Some will make you think (a little) . Most will make you laugh. Have a great weekend!

“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.”
Caryn Leschen

“Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.”
Jennifer Unlimited

“I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.”
Roseanne Barr

“Inside every older person is a younger person — wondering what the hell happened.”
Cora Harvey Armstrong

“I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.”
Janette Barber

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
Erma Bombeck

“The phrase “working mother” is redundant.”
Jane Sellman

Helping Your Child to Read.

My daughter, Emily, is a month from starting Kindergarten. She is very bright, and loves for us to read to her. She has been to pre-school, and is very prepared for kindergarten. However, as I have several friends that are school teachers and their kids are already reading, I wanted to know what is the secret in giving them the edge.

Unanimously I have heard that I must own the BOB books. You can pick these up most anywhere. What are the BOB books? Well, they are a series of early reader books. They average about $15-$20 for a set. They are comparative to the Dick and Jane early readers. (You can click the link above to visit their site and learn more.)

The next thing I was told was that I needed to focus on the “sight words”. These are the words that cannot be sounded out or pronounced, such as the word “the”. It is a word that you must simply memorize by sight, thus the term “sight words”. There are 100 sight words that are primary to their early reading skills, and will be found in their early reading books. These words include, a, and, the, all, from, etc. Once they have mastered these, and can sound out short words, they can read sentences such as: “The fat cat sat on the mat”.

You can find the 100 sight words, and some helpful tips and games on how to teach them to your child by clicking here.

Helping to teach them to sound out the short words, such as “cat,” you can use the phonics break down. Have them pronounce the letter “a” and “t”, “at”. Now if we add the letter “c” in front, what sound will that make? C – at … Cat. What if we put a “B” in front B – at…Bat. (You get the idea)

(Click on the highlighted words for links to the needed sites.)

Organizing Arts and Crafts

One of the most difficult things for me to organize has been the arts and crafts. You want certain things available to them that they can pull out anytime, but some things need to be monitored, such as paints and play dough. I created this cabinet to keep all their arts and crafts supplies in. Still, Emily would toss things in there haphazardly, as kids do, and I would constantly have to go through what was good and throw out what was bad. Plus, allowing them to get to the crayons would give them access to untouchable things, as well. ( I have “Do-A-Dot” Art on my walls as a result!)snipshot_e4qpq6lxg8h1.jpg

Here was my solution:

1) I used our Computer Armoir that we no longer use for the computer anymore. (But even shelves will do).

2) I bought these snapware containers for $6 at Big Lots. You see, each container snaps to the other, so it is not easily accessible to my girls. Each thing is separated and organized, yet you can use the height space here. If you pull one thing out, that is the only thing you pull out, and you can easily and clearly see what is in each container.

3) At the bottom you can see I have the coloring books and pages at their level of accessibility. This way, while they can color all they want, they can not get into the supervised arts and crafts.

4) There is a drawer at the bottom with things like pom-pom’s and googly eyes. They are in individual ziploc bags and can be pulled out easily. Again, this is not something they are really allowed to play with alone, but they do not seem to bother them. If they did, I would use the smaller snapware containers to hold them.

These snapware containers come in all sizes. You can follow the links in this post to see the containers, but as I stated earlier, you can get them cheaper if you are willing to look. I got mine at Big Lots.

… And no, I get no commission for suggesting these snapware containers to you. I am not an affiliate. They are just a great product that has solved a problem for me, and I wanted to share. Happy organizing!

Trial or Temptation?

Don’t let anyone under pressure to give into evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way. The temptation to give into evil comes from us and only us. We have no one to blame but the leering, seducing flare up of our own lust. (James 1:13-14 TM)

Yesterday I talked about the pressures of life that challenge us, the spiritual refining process that we all go through. It is true that these times are real, and that as James said we should not try to get out of the process until it is completed so that we can be mature and well-developed. Yet, James also warns us of not confusing the difficult times of the refining process with the temptation of our own hearts. This is what I wanted to be sure to be clear about. No confusion.

God will never “refine” you through leading you into sin. Just as a parent will not lead their child to disobey them to teach them or bring them into maturity. Peter says “If you’re abused because of Christ, count yourself fortunate…If they’re on you because you broke the law or disturbed the peace, that’s a different matter. ” (1Peter 4:14TM)

Be sure, in seeking why you are walking through things, whether it is God or because of your choices. First evaluate the reason, then you can decide how to walk it out. The good news is, if it is because of your choices you can quickly change your course.

So in your circumstances you must ask the question, is this a trial or a temptation? A trial (or challenge) will bring maturity, patience, and breakthrough in your life. A temptation will cause you to fall into sin, and take you away from the path God wants you on.

Either way, know that God is with you and wants to help you, to make your life a better one. He loves us and only wants the best for us. James says, “Are you hurting? Pray. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you’ve sinned – you’ll be forgiven inside and out.” (James 5:13-15 TM emphasis added)

But God…

You’re not the only ones plunged in these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ – eternal and glorious plans they are! – will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes He does. (1 Peter 5:9-11 Message)

“Ouch!” she exclaimed. “Mommy it hurts.” The mother stood over her daughter, tears flowing down her own cheeks as the doctor poked the needle in her. “I know baby but it will be over soon, I promise.” The daughter is not convinced that mommy is on her side. She knows that most of the time mommy seems to do everything to make her life happier. But at the moment, as mommy holds her down on the table actually helping this man inflict pain on her, she is not sure. She doubts her mother’s love. You see, this little girl does not see the big picture; she cannot know what her mommy knows. Her mommy may try to explain it to her, but she does not have the maturity or capability yet to understand why her mother would purposefully inflict pain on her. Her mother has the understanding that a little pain now will avoid a lot of pain later. This vaccine will help her daughter from becoming deathly ill, and she would not be the loving parent she is if she did not hold her child down on that table. Yet the mother cries with her, never leaving her, understanding her pain. She  cannot wait for the process to be over so she can scoop her in her arms, and tell her “It’s okay honey, it’s all over. Let’s go get you a sticker.” And, of course, now the daughter is once again reassured that mommy loves her.

Are you seeing yourself as the little girl yet? Have you found yourself in moments lately where you are crying out to God, looking up at him with tear filled eyes, asking Him “why are you letting this happen to me?”  Be assured that His eyes are tear filled to, and He is saying “Hang on baby, it will be over soon.”

I have never really believed that God let painful things happen to me. I could not understand how a God who loves me so much, and wants only good things for me, would allow me to be in pain or discomfort. Anything hard or painful that happened in my life, had to be the devil. I would be binding him and telling him where to go, and it seemed that nothing changed … That is, until I became a mother.

I began to realize that sometimes inflicted pain, whether emotional or physical, is sometimes necessary in order to bring growth and maturity. A shot for example, can save a child from death. The little pain prevents greater pain they will never know.

I have recently been going through some things in my own life where my husband and I have really been believing God for some big things. Others have questioned whether God told us or not, because why would God want us to struggle like we are. But we know that we are in the right season. God is growing us and really showing us what we are made of. James 1 has become one of my favorite scriptures: “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith life is forced into the open and shows it’s true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do it’s work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in anyway.” (James 1:2-4 Message)

Then I found 1 Peter (quoted above). Peter goes on to say “Friends when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner … If you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he is doing, and he’ll keep on doing it … God’s strong hand is on you, and he will promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.” (1Peter 4: 12-13; 19; 5:6-7)

While every Bible character has their story of faith, Joseph is the one that has been encouragement for me. When Joseph was young he was probably a little arrogant, the spoiled favorite son bragging about a dream that he was better than his brothers. Then after he went through all he did he was a humble man. He must have thought several times God was going to pull him out of his situation. He came out of the pit, only to be sold immediately into slavery. He could see himself building a reputation at Potiphar’s house, just to go to prison for something he did not do. Then when he interpreted the butcher’s dream, he most likely started packing his bags. Yet after two years still, he must have given up. God knew the timing, Joseph did not. Yet at the right time (as Peter said) God brought him higher than he could have ever imagined. And in such a way that when he stood before Pharaoh all arrogance had been burned out of him, and he said “Not I, but God.” (Gen. 41:16)

Ben and I have experienced many times in the last year and a half of God supernaturally providing for us. Each time is bigger than the time before. Recently we had several thousand dollars laid in our hands at the last moment that we needed to pay our bills. And from an unexpected source, there was no way we had anything to do with it. Had we not been walking in this process we might assume it was Ben’s talents that has brought us, and will take us, where we are going. But now when we stand in high places, it will be clear that the only thing to be said is “But God.”

What hurt, what rejection, what struggle, are you going through and you do not understand how a loving God could allow it? (If you think about it the next time you are allowing your child to be “hurt” or endure punishment, it will be revelation to you!) What are you going through today, that tomorrow when it is all over you will be able to say “But God”?

(Please come back tomorrow, I have more to say on this subject. )

Chicken Casserole

A family favorite my aunt Doris created. It is the most requested around our family for her to cook.

Ingredients:

1 can chicken broth
1 can cream of mushroom
1 can cream of chicken
1 can cream of celery
3-4 chicken breasts
Mueller’s Dumpling Noodles
Pepperidge Farm Stuffing
1 8 oz. Cream Cheese (Softened at room temp.)
16 oz. Sour Cream

Directions

1) Boil Chicken in Broth, remove from broth and let cool. Shred.
2) Boil Noodles in the Chicken Broth/Drain
3) Mix all ingredients (except stuffing) together.
4) Place the mixture in Casserole dish, and top with Stuffing.
5) Cook at 350 degrees until edges bubble and stuffing is browned. (Appr. 15- 20 minutes)

Tips:

-Take out cream cheese earlier and let it soften at room temp. Or I lay it on the top of the stove while it is pre-heating.
– If you double the recipe, it takes no more time, and you can freeze the extra dish for another day. It defrosts and heats up beautifully.
– It can also be prepared a day or two in advance and kept in the fridge.

Keeping the Toys Under Control

 I don’t know about you, but I would say the hardest part of cleaning up has always been the toys! If I would get one room clean,  and return in a few moments, the kids would have dragged toys back into it again. My proud accomplishment over in a few moments.

Recently when we visited some friends of ours we noticed they had a rule in their house. “Toys remain in the bedroom or the playroom” My first reaction was, “For real?” I did not see how it was possible to have that rule. I saw how all night, not only did their children abide by the rule, but my daughters had no problem with it. I told Ben this was a novel idea we had to try!

The next day we explained the rules to Emily and Anna, and moved all toys into their room. In our home they do not have  a play room, but their shared bedroom is twice the size of an average child’s bedroom, so their is plenty of play room. Plus the room is right by the living room, so they are never too far away. It has taken reminding them as they began to drag things into the living room, but not with much struggle. As soon as we remind them of the rule, they quickly take everything back into the room.

This has helped in so many ways in keeping the home in order. First, the bedroom/playroom may be a mess, but every other area of your home can be tidy, and neat. It is great for those unexpected guests because you can simply shut the door to their room. It makes for easier clean up of their toys. They are not strewn all over the house at clean up time; you only have one area to clean. Using the timer technique throughout the day is even easier when all the toys are in their room. I can give them just one area of their room to clean up, instead of one overwhelming room. It cuts down tremendously on the chaos in the house, which cuts down on my frustration of trying to maintain the house.

Here are a few other tips on keeping the toys under control:

1) If they have so many toys you do not know what to do, it may be clean out time. Weed out the things they have outgrown, or don’t play with. If you find games and toys that do not have all their pieces and are no longer fully functional, toss them.

2) You may leave a mess in their room for a day or so, as you can now close the door on it, but don’t leave the mess for too long. (We try to do one thorough clean up at the end of the day)

3) Once you have dejunked the toys, you can rotate them. Create a plastic container and put some away, in a month or two pull them out and exchange them for some they are now bored with. It will feel like getting new things to them, and helps to cut down on the chaos.

4) Keep art and crafts supplies well out of reach. Supervise messy or creative play in an area where clean up is easy.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

I am going to be with my family today! I am going to worship God and remember why I have that Freedom. I am going to pray for the families who do not have their loved ones with them as I do, because they are making the sacrifices to provide us with the freedoms we have! Thank you to all of our soldiers! Thank you to the families who wait for their safe return!
Happy Fourth of July

Community: Let’s Have Coffee

I love Starbucks! It is my all time favorite place to go. If I need a break, or need a place to just sit and talk with a friend it is my first choice of meeting place. Why? Because Starbucks does not just sell coffee, they sell a feeling, a feeling of community.

The company knows that emotion, not logic, powers the decision to pay $3.22 for a double-tall latte, extra hot with a shot of sugar-free vanilla. The company’s campaign turns coffee into community. . It’s a place without the stresses of the home or the office, a neutral ground where there are always “friends” behind the counter. In our largely impersonal, digital and ethereal world, returning to the homey confines of one’s own Starbucks, staffed with people who care enough to remember something about us, provides a primal human connection.
John D. Markman

John Markman is right. Starbucks makes millions not on coffee but on a basic need that God has put in each of us, yet so many lack. We have internet and television , ipods, and video games to keep us distracted. We think we are plugged in, yet isolated unto ourselves. No matter how many conveniences there are and opportunities to avoid human contact, this is what is most desired. Relationship, companionship, community.

It is a basic need, right after breathing, water, and food. We need others! God said it was not good for man to be alone. The only thing in his creation that he recognized was not good! (Genesis 2:18) John Ortberg describes it this way:

The human being is in a state of perfect intimacy with God. Each word he and God spoke with each other is filled with closeness and joy…Yet the word God uses to describe him is “alone”… apparently, according to the writer of Genesis, God creates inside this man a kind of “human shaped” void that God himself will not fill…even though this man was in a state of sinless perfection, he was “alone”.

We need each other. We need the support of one another. We need to share our experiences, our knowledge, and our pain. As I stated in an earlier post, found here, “Isolation unto ourselves can cause us to lose perspective”. We may try to hide behind the masks and show others what we think they want to see. The problem is we are all walking around pretending to be what we think the other wants to see, but if one of us would dare to let down our mask we would find we are not as different as we thought.

The irony of the masks is that although we wear them to make other people think well of us, they are drawn to us only when we take them off. ~John Ortberg

When I first got married Ben and I did not have many friendships. We had recently left our church, and my closest, oldest friends all lived in different states. At first, I admit, I felt sorry for myself. I refused to get out of my comfort zone, because of fear of rejection. I finally came to a point where my sister and I were not talking, for one reason or another, and I found myself very lonely. If you know me at all, you would know I am a people person. I can find a party like a hound dog finds a coon! I finally came back to a basic philosophy: If you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend. I began seeking out people to be friendly to. Not just to go up and talk to, but when someone had a baby or if someone died, I was the first one to sign up to take a meal. Need help with a conference? What can I do? I have to say that I am so thankful to be overwhelmed with such great relationships in my life. When you be a friend you get a friend! You do not have to be the most outgoing person to do these things.

So many moms, especially stay at home, have a longing to have relationship with other women. If you feel this way, chances are someone you know does too. Reach out, find someone to invite to have a cup of coffee. You may find a new friend.