I got this great idea from BeBestages, which is an adorable moms site. Finally a way to use all of those broken crayon pieces! Using your broken crayons you can create these round crayons pictured. I find that they are really great for small toddlers, like my 20 month old, because they can grip them easily. You already have all the ingredients that you need. Click here for full directions.
Impersonal Education requires Involved Parents.
Fifty years ago America was the world’s standard for learning and high achievement. We were on the cutting edge in invention, and business. I think that the standards of learning in the education system plummeted somewhere along the line, and now Japan and other countries are light years ahead of us. All other countries learn to speak 2 languages in grade school, and always have. I am amazed to meet people from other countries and hear of the standards they have. So in the great spectrum, America is behind. Thus the problem, in my opinion. We have not kept up, we as a country sort of “got slack” so to speak, and now the government has had to make drastic changes, like “no child left behind,” to try to rectify the problem. I have mixed feelings about this program. Speaking to friends who are teachers, they say that it is good because it requires the “lazy” teachers to not pass the buck, but it can put undue pressure on the teachers who are really trying, and really are there for their students.
Of course, on all things, I believe there is a balance to be found somewhere, and parental involvement is key. My dad used to tell me, and recently a friend who has two children and a Ph.D. in Psychology told me, that developing character and social skills is MORE important than intelligence. My sister used to call me “wormy” because I was such a book worm, but I was also very social and outgoing. Yes, education is important, but when you go to a job interview, or sales meeting, you are selling them on you, and your schooling is only part of that. Relationship and social skills, without as much education, will get you farther than someone with a Ph.D. who is socially handicapped. It is very important to bring balance to both. I would rather my child be a “B” student and have healthy social skills than an “A” student who never comes out of their books. (This does not mean that an “A” student won’t have healthy social skills, I myself was an “A” student)
I really enjoyed Holly’s personal story, and you must read it, and part II. She speaks of how her daughter was failing the basic skills testing, and the teachers thought she could not learn. The truth was she was reading as well, if not better, than some of the other students. Holly was very angry, rightfully so, that the teachers and other educators had not taken the time with her daughter enough to see that maybe she doesn’t test well, but truly is learning. I am not sure of what the solution is, but testing children blindly across the board apparrently did not work in this case.
Thankfully, Holly was an involved parent and knew that her daughter was not a slow learner. She did not accept this, and moved her daughter out of that school. The real solution to this problem was the parent knowing her child better than the teachers.
I know I have said this before but I say it again, the only way to keep your child from falling through the cracks is to be involved with your child.
Bringing Out the Best in Others
“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”
-Goethe
When I was a teen there was a girl who always stunk, always dressed badly, and was a social outcast. I remember my dad said “treat her as if she were already the prettiest girl in school”. Within a few weeks of just befriending her, she did change. Later I found out my sister had a similar experience, where the girl became one of the most popular girls in the class. They began to live up to the expectations set before them.
We want God to see our heart and not always our actions, and He does. Especially when we screw up we want God to see us as what we want to be instead of what we are, and He does. But you know what stinks about that? The one you hate, the one you struggle to forgive, the one that has hurt you so bad, God sees them the same way He sees you, in the heart. We want God to forgive us, to love us unconditionally even when we screw up, God loves that person the same way. When God said “…Whosoever believes in Him should have everlasting life” (John 3:16) The next verse does not say “except for those that hurt Angel, they are all going to hell”. Admit it, that is all how we think, and wish God thought.
Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, think about the difference your life would have if others treated you as the person you want to be instead of the person you are. Imagine for a moment if they treated you as the one to be respected, the one to go to for advice, the one who was a strong business person. Do you think you would live up to those expectations?
I have found that both in my family, and my husband’s, that they see us and treat us differently than our friends. And I respond differently to my family than with my friends. My sister has asked why do we treat each other worse than we would treat a complete stranger. Why? Because a total stranger will let me be who I want to be. My family has me in a box from my childhood, or even from my recent past that defines who I am, and I respond accordingly.
My sister has started developing a relationship with a couple that have been friends of mine for about a year now, and she is finding out how differently they think about us, versus how our family views us. It’s interesting, because I think she begins to see us just a little differently.
Imagine how this could affect your relationship with your spouse, or children. Think of how you would treat your husband if he were always romantic and thoughtful, always helped with the children and did the unexpected without having to ask you. Do you have that picture in your head? Now, what if you started treating him that way right now, before he did anything? Do you think it would change how he treated you? Do you know that studies show while the number one thing a woman needs is love, the number one thing a man needs is honor and respect? What if you began telling him how much you appreciate him helping with the kids and what kind of feeling you get when he cleans the dishes, do you think this would change how he felt about cleaning the dishes?
What about the estranged relationship with a family member, or friend, or someone who has hurt you. What if God could show you how He sees that person? Do you think you could see them differently? Do you think you would pray for them differently? Do you think you would treat them differently?
Fun Friday!
I was reading on Nola’s blog and she wrote the ten things she loved about being a mom. I chuckled through some of them, like #2 “Listening to them give each other advice.” This is so true. I take my five year old daughter, Emily, and my almost 5 year old niece, Sydney, to school everyday. When I listen to their conversations it is hilarious; they just spew out all sorts of grown up things that they have heard my sister and I discuss.
Nola is from North Carolina., (I am originally from the Carolinas). I have been reading her blog which spun off from her original site, The Classic Life Magazine, for a couple of months now. Her online magazine is chock-full of all sorts of interesting articles and decorating advice. You must check it out for yourself!
Journeys With Kelly
Today I am introducing another 1smartmom, who will be a regular contributor to this site. I have known Kelly for
about 15 years. She walked me through my first pregnancy, and is one of the greatest contributors to making me a better mom.
I feel Kelly offers a unique perspective on parenting as an adoptive mother. Kelly has been through the adoption process, and felt the pains of infertility, and the long process of being “approved” to be a parent. Kelly and her husband David live in Arkansas, have 2 sons, Zachary and Mitchell, and one on the way.
My prayer, and hers, is that she can use her experiences to help others through the long process from making the decision to adopt to holding that gift in your arms.
If you are an adoptive parent, hope to be one, or know someone in this process, I hope you will be encouraged by
“Journeys With Kelly“
Your Purpose, Right Now!
Being a mom is not my only purpose, but it is the greatest way to fulfill my purpose.
Interestingly enough I had written most of this post when I visited “Passion meets Purpose”, and she quoted another blog which caught my attention…
“Once you discover and embrace your life purpose, are you set for the rest of your life? Do you keep fulfilling that same purpose until you die? Or can your purpose change over time?” -Steve Pavlina
I think that I agree with Steve that my message is the same, but my delivery of that message changes with the different seasons in my life.
” … In a way you have two purposes then: your message and your medium. Your message is the primary contribution you’re here to make. Your message is who you are. If you can connect with your higher self, you know your message. Your message doesn’t really change, but your depth of understanding will change over time.
… Your medium is the specific expression of your message. This is how you express your contribution to the world. You can have a really wonderful and empowering message, but if you choose a lousy form of expression, you won’t have much impact.â€
Do you feel as a mother that you are so caught up in the day to day hum-drum of being a mom, that you have lost your purpose? I do. I struggle with ALL that I want to do in my life, and for some reason think I have to do it all right now! And in that train of thought we often forget that being a mom is part of our purpose.
One of my pastors said Sunday, “There are some good, moral, faithful church attenders, who are out of the will of God. Why? Because they are not fulfilling their full purpose.” This caused me to ask, “God am I one of those people?” I asked my husband, and my sister what they thought. Was God speaking to me? They began encouraging me and pointing out the many things I am doing. I am teaching a parenting class at my church, I substitute at my daughter’s preschool, and hopefully will be teaching next year. And they went on to list other things I do in my community, not least of which is this blog I so love to do.
My purpose is that of a teacher and encourager. I want to help others live a better, happier life by looking inside themselves for the answers. Seven and eight years ago I was a youth leader in my church. This was my medium to reach others like myself, to encourage others to live their best life. Right now, I am teaching my children how to be happy, and encouraging them to live their life fully, shaping them, and molding them; teaching them character, and that the greatest way to be happy is to love others with an open heart. I am writing, and sharing my experience to help others to be better moms, wives, and people. This is my “medium” for this season.
There are seasons in all of our lives. This season of having young children who completely depend on me for survival will not always be here, and other seasons will come. I will be free to do so many things I have in my heart to do. Yet, I am not putting my purpose on the back burner until I have raised my children, they simply become a part of my purpose.
Have you ever watched the Rocky movies? All five were about him reaching his destiny and his purpose. In the 5th one he is sent back to poverty (and I hate this twist by the way). He is so hungry to be needed he begins mentoring a young fighter who admires him. The irony is, this young man turns on him and finds value in all that Rocky detests, and tries to save him from. All the while, his son was there wanting and desiring for his Dad to pour into him. It was his son who valued what his dad had to offer. His son should have been where he found his purpose. As a parent you can still fulfill your purpose by pouring into your children; if you want to pour out into someone, who better than your own children?
I hope that someone else needed to hear this today, but if not it has encouraged me. 🙂
Pumpkin Patch, a Fall Tradition.
While it is Anna’s first memory of going to the mountains on a pumpkin patch hunt, Emily has several years of this memory. We go to the mountains every year, stop at an Apple house, and pick up some Apple Fritters. We then find our way to a corn maze, pumpkin patch, and/or hay ride. This is a great day trip, and very inexpensive. We had already done this when I read on another blog that you can’t take bad pictures in a pumpkin patch, and it is so true.
So go find a pumpkin patch this week!!
The Importance of Routine.
Why is there so much controversy over schedules and routines? While some moms despise the idea of routine, others thrive on them. Can putting your infant on a feeding schedule really lead to malnourishment? Does implementing a daily routine really have to confine you?
While some moms may cringe, and others cheer at the thoughts of a schedule or routine for your infant and toddlers we can all agree that having your children sleeping through the night would be a blessing. A study showed that couples who reported a stronger commitment and emotional investment in a family routine were more satisfied in their marital relationship when their oldest child was in preschool (Fiese,Hooker,Kotary,&Schwagler,1993); and let’s face it when your child is in the bed with you or up all hours of the night making you exhausted, never knowing when you will have time together, to rest, or get anything accomplished, the marriage is the first to suffer.
Consistent routines are not just a comfort to the parent, knowing what to expect and having down time for yourself, but also for the child. “Knowing what will happen next gives babies and toddlers physiological and emotional stability. The stability and consistency allows them to feel safe and secure—trusting a caring adult to provide what they need. Stable routines allow babies and toddlers to anticipate what will happen next and to learn appropriate behaviors for each situation in their day. This not only gives young children confidence, but also a sense of control.†(National Center for Infants. Toddlers and Families) Some parents feel that putting your infant on a schedule can hinder them, cause them to be malnourished or feel insecure. According to Parenting magazine Susan Newman, a social psychologist in New Jersey says “Routines begin from the first days of life affecting the relationship between parent and child, setting the stage for rocky or smooth sailing as your child gets older. Babies, especially, need regular sleep AND meal schedules and even routines leading up to those activities ( i.e. a story before bed)â€
A House or a Home? It’s all in the Details.
What’s the difference between a house and a home? While a house is a construction for habitation, a home defines who you are as a person and a family. It is the personal touches that reveal your personality, and what is important to you.
I loved “Your Elegant Bed and Bath” post about this subject. She mentions her plants in her home are from her mother and father’s funerals. It adds both beauty and sentimental value to her home. I also have this in my home. My husband Ben’s aunt died about 18 months ago. She was very dear to both of us, and the plant pictured is from her funeral; every time I water it I am reminded of her. The plant stand is an antique egg crate, which I love because it adds character to the plant, and my home.
I see in Pottery Barn and other magazines expensive artwork decoration for a child’s room that is supposed to look like a child’s painting. Here is an idea, why don’t you take your own child’s masterpiece and frame it. Give her/him fingerpaints, or markers and crayons of the colors that would match the decor in their room. Let them go crazy, then frame it in a nice frame. You have now added creative artwork decor at a fraction of the price, and brought your child’s personality into their room.
Removing the Hot Spots!
Hot -Spot: A place in your home that attracts clutter, if not dealt with will eventually take over.
Do you have a table in your home that stays cluttered, it’s just the catch all for everything? This was my dining room table, and I don’t have a kitchen table. There were many nights I would have to spend 10 minutes putting stuff away before we could eat, or everything just shifted from the table to the counters until after dinner. Well not anymore. I read this tip, and it was so simple I felt I had to try it.
Keep your table set all the time. When it looks nice it deters junk and clutter. Bonus is it encourages you to actually eat at the table. Now I have a clutter free table. And it looks beautiful. For me, this was so important especially because when you walk in my front door you are looking straight into the dining room. Now you see a beautifully set table! This is an inexpensive way for you to bring added decoration to your room, and remove the clutter.The first few nights I was establishing this habit, I would bark at my husband, “Don’t you put anything on my nice table, go put that where it goes.” It only took a few times for everyone to get what I was doing. Now I love my table, and we all love sitting at it for dinner. So try it! I think you will be amazed at how easy it is, and how much clutter you can alleviate.