September 11th. A Tribute.

I would like to backtrack to September 11th. Although I wanted to recognize this day my post was not the first on my mind. It was my daughter’s birthday!

That’s right, September 11th,2001 is my daughter’s birthday. She was born at 4:40 in the morning before the towers were hit. As they wheeled me into our room from recovery we turned on the T.V. and there were the images of the towers. Now at the age of five, when we see the memorials and watch the clips from that day, we explain to her that she was born on an important day of history, that she was our families light in one of the darkest days in America.

For the first time in my life I felt the fear, panic, and desire that parents have to protect their children.My husband Ben, had written a journal entry only two days after 9/11/01, and I thought it fitting to post it. A new father’s perspective of 9/11. Continue reading “September 11th. A Tribute.”

Potty Training

Oh the dreaded potty training! I must admit, after being a nanny and child care worker for 5 years before having my own, I really did not look forward to potty training. We first tried Dr. Phil’s potty training in a day…… HA HA HA! Ok, no disrespect to Dr. Phil because I love him, and I am sure it has worked for some, but my daughter was not falling for it.
Here are a few tips I have learned along the way:

  • Do not start until you are absolutely positively ready and commited. They will be ready when you are, but any inconsistency will make it much harder on you and your child.
  • Pull Ups…..Don’t do it! Two reasons. One, What is the pay off of stopping what they are doing to go to the potty. Discomfort brings a change. (This is true with adults too) 🙂 If it they feel wet and icky they will stop to go to the potty. Two, no offense, but what is your pay off to stop what you are doing and make them go to the potty? My Pediatrician says the best way is the hardest on the parents, sorry I didn’t like it either. When you are at home set your timer for 15-20 minutes and make them sit on the potty. (If they actually go you may set the timer a little longer the next time) And when you are out you take them potty before they leave the house, when you arrive at your destination take them again, and before you leave your destination, yep you guessed it, take them again. Repeat as necessary for wherever you go. Now as hard as this sounds, why when you are in a hurry would you not say,”oh well he has a pull up on and if he has an accident, no biggy”. But without a pull up you will take the time to go potty so you don’t have to take the time to clean up an accident, right? And remember they need consistency! (Thus the reason for tip #1) ( The only exception is bedtime, and on extremely long trips. But every time you stop make them go) Continue reading “Potty Training”

Setting Goals For Your Family Time

1SmartMom.com is all about “Creative Ideas, Tips, and Resources for Smart Moms Everywhere”. Well, once a week I feature another site that I have found inspiring, and think can help us all as moms, and women. This week I want to introduce Jill Koenig. I have heard her name many times, but never really knew who she was. Today I know. She is a woman who went from living in the ghetto to living as a millionaire by the age of thirty … and guess what, no college education! She is a motivational speaker helping others to set goals, and with time management and encouragement, to see success! I will be a regular to her site; it is a great way to start your day!

The post I especially enjoyed was “Parenting and Family Goals“. It is important that we set goals in all areas of our life. Spiritual, Family, Work, Financial, Health, and Social. Sometimes it is easy to forget about family time, and connecting with each other, because they are always there and “we will do it later”. But I hear time and time again parents say, “I woke up and they were going to college”. They are gone and “later” never came. My daughter is five and I already feel “where has the time gone”!

We need to start by setting some time aside that is only centered around family time. (With the TV off! This is one of our struggles.) It can even be worked into your regular routine. (For instance, you might pick a dinner your child can help you cook. This will take a little more time and patience, but the reward is great. Emily simply helped me make brownies, crack an egg put water in a bowl and stir. But to her she was a 5 star chef.) Here are a few suggestions from Jill’s site to help you get started:

Establish a family game night
Make dinner together and experiment with different recipes
Take a family field trip
Create a fun family exercise program
Volunteer as a family for a day at a homeless shelter or special needs charity
Don’t forget to Establish a date night for 1 on 1 time with your honey

Jill Koenig’s Goal Blog

5 ways to boost your child’s self esteem

On August 22nd, I wrote a post titled “I am the mirror my daughter looks into“. It was about your child’s self esteem and self-worth stemming from how you view yourself. Today on another site I was visiting, I saw “Ways to Boost Your Child’s Self Esteem,” and the first one was to model good self esteem! We should take all of these tips and put them to memory. I feel so strongly about each of them I may write a different post on each one. Below are the six tips given by Aurelia Williams to boost your child’s self esteem. She also has a great post on how to build your own self esteem.

  • Model good self-esteem: Express through your actions and words that you respect yourself. Children are wonderful at imitating what they see and hear. Remember, you are your child’s best role model.
  • Create positive routines: Young children need routines to help them to feel secure and competent. Try to set a good schedule for bedtime, rest/naps, meals, etc. Try to keep exceptions to the routine to a minimum and explain any necessary changes if/when they occur.
  • Allow many opportunities for children to contribute to the family: Give your child a job/chore that only he/she does for the family. Even a small job can have a positive lasting impact on your child’s self esteem.
  • Talk about the world in positive terms: Even though there is negativity in the world, don’t dwell on it with your child. When with your child, be sure to point out the many positive things in the world.
  • Spend time with your child: Remember quality is more important than quantity. Even if you spend just 30 minutes with your child one on one — playing games, taking walks, having long bedtime chats, or just snuggling in front of the TV, spending time with your child shows them that you value their company.
  • Give your child choices: Giving your child choices between a reasonable set of options that are already predetermined by you will make them feel empowered

Thanks to a supportive husband

I have had my site up for a whole 3 weeks now, and it is very exciting to see something that has been on my heart actually happen. So many thoughts and ideas run through my head that result in much of nothing, but not this. This idea, this desire, has really happened. And I would like to say that it would not have happened without my husband getting excited with me.

Ben is a web-site designer and owns his own business, epocdesigns. He has only recently taken this on full time, and works from home. You can imagine that since I stay home with our 2 young daughters we are still adjusting to the change. He has always supported me in doing whatever I have wanted to do. When we got married I wanted to stay at home full time with our daughter. Even though it was VERY tight on us, and required so much more from him, he never complained about it, but supported me. And in the times that I would say “maybe I just need to go get a job”, he would not hear of it. He would always find away so I could do what I love, Be a full time mom and wife. He began doing web design on the side to supplement our income from his “real” job. It was such a divine thing. He has never really advertised, his leads have primarily been word of mouth. And in only 3 years he has made web design his only job.
For sometime now I have had a desire to help moms. I knew what was in my heart but what do I do with it? Ben decided we should start with a website, so he built my site for me. He has taught me how to navigate my way around a blog, which takes a certain amount of patience. He comes to me at least once a day with a new idea for my site, something he found that could help improve it, and it is HE who has launched me into this great big “blog community”. He also discovered emoms@home, a blog community for moms to help support each others sites. And through these sites I have found great thoughts, laughs, and women, I otherwise would not have known.

I think what I appreciate the most is that he loves to get excited for me, and in the moments that I have asked “why should I be doing this?” He always has the right words. He believes in me and supports anything I decide I want to do. He finds away to put himself in it with me, and makes it his dream too.

So this post is unrelated to mother’s. Instead it is a Thank you to my supportive husband, Ben. Who uses his talents to help me with mine, and graciously gives up the computer (almost) everytime.

Thank You!

What a Child CAN do with the Love of a Parent.

I know that as parents we worry about our children having the best in life. We worry about them being smart enough, being able to fit in at school, and being able to do all that they want to do in life. I know that this fear is even stronger in parents who have children with disabilities.I believe while there are obvious things that help children get ahead in life the most important thing that weighs out all other things is a parents love and belief in their children that can help them reach the stars.

Take a moment to watch this short video. See what a parents love CAN do for a child.

Saving money on Diapers and Formula!

No matter how much, or little, money we have, it is something we can always use a little more of, right? So I wanted to share a couple of money saving tips that every mom should know. I hope these help:
~ Sam’s Club, Publix, and Target Brand Diapers are all the same, and just as good as Huggies or Pampers.
I have used them on both my girls, and neither ever had a leak, even after a 12 hour night.They are the soft cloth-like velcro diaper, not plastic tape. The money saver is that a box of “Sam’s Smiles” brand diapers is about $20, for a size 5 box there are about 120 diapers, and it will last me a month.(average 14cents a diaper) With Target’s brand you get about 80 Diapers for the size 5 large box, and they are $13.99 a box.(average cost 17cents a diaper) The cheapest bag of huggies I found was a jumbo pack of 30 diapers,size 5 and they were $13.49.(average cost 44cents a diaper) The newborn fifity pack was $13.49 also, and even with 50 diapers this is still 26cents a diaper! And a newborn pack of Sam’s diapers has about 196 diapers for $20,that is 10cents a diaper. More than half the price!
(I do not recommend Wal-mart or Kroger diapers, because they are plastic and tape, and they have leaked on me before.)

~ This one you may be shocked to know, but my Pediatrician told me “all milk based formula is the same, all Soy formula is the same”. Similac, Enfamil, and Target brand formulas are all the same! (Gasp here!) I took the can of formula to my Pediatrician and he said it is fine! In fact Target Brand has more of some ingredients, such as iron for example. Both my girls and both my nieces used Target brand formula, they have always been perfectly healthy, receiving gold stars at every well visit. So why would you literally pay twice as much for Similac or Enfamil? If you don’t believe me, I challenge you to buy a can of Target formula and a can of whatever you use. Take it to your Ped. and see what they say. And please let me know if you do.
(This deal only excludes parents who have children with allergies to regular soy or milk based formulas, and use special formulas,such as Alimentum)
Between the formula and the diapers, you could be saving an average of $70-$90 a month. That is some serious change at the end of the month. If you try them, let us know what you think!

Creating Healthy Eaters

My 5 year old is a very picky eater. She has a tendency to eat her snacks but not her lunch. Especially at school because no one is standing over her to make sure she eats it. Then when she comes home she is “starving” and wants a snack. It is very frustrating. So while I still enforce the “no snacks if you don’t eat your meals” rule, I have gotten creative with snack time. There are great healthy snacks in your snack aisle. Then when your kids want to snack you can feel good about it.
As an adult trying to watch my weight I look at fat and calories, but for my 5 year old, who at this point is the size of a pencil, I worry about sugar content. Some easy and quick Healthy snack suggestions are:

1)Wheat thins with some cheese cubes.
2)Any kind of fruit cut up with a yogurt cup. (she tends to eat her fruit, including grapes better if I cut them up)
3)Peanut Butter Ritz sandwiches are surprisingly low in sugar.
4)Another option is Carr’s wheat cracker’s (whole wheat, no bleached flour) they taste sweet, and my kids love them!
5) Goldfish crackers are great and they even have whole wheat options.
6) Slice an apple, and create a peanut butter “dip”. (Just put it in a small container)
7) Carrots and Ranch Dressing. (Buy the baby carrots. Or crinkle cut they look like P. Chips)

As soon as I come home from the grocery I divide the snacks into individual snack size baggies and toss them into the snack drawer, or Snack Bin in the fridge.(And go ahead and cut up the fruit) This allows she, or I, to pull a perfect portion sized snack out quickly, on the go! Some of these things come already packaged in single servings. The only fruit I do not cut up is apple because it browns.

I found a great link on this subject from the site below. Aurelia is a life coach and mom. She has alot of great words of encouragement, and tips on being a better mom, by being a better you. This particular article is on my topic of today, healthy eaters. It also provides another link to a site solely devoted to offering unique ideas for healthy snacks and meals your kids will eat. So check it out!
http://aureliawilliams.wordpress.com/2006/08/30/snacks-for-toddlers/

The behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated!

The behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated!

I was in the store with my daughter yesterday and there was a toddler screaming at her Grandma. Having no choice but to overhear the conversation, I heard the Grandma tell the child she could have a “BRATZ” doll. (Ok, side note, I can not BELIEVE a doll called Bratz is actually outselling Barbie!) Well, the child decided that she did not want a Bratz doll, but something else. She began screaming at the top of her lungs what she wanted. The grandmother attempted to calmly tell her she could have whatever she wanted if she would stop screaming and just be patient. The child continued to scream, “NO NOW, NO NOW!” over and over until Grandma finally conceded to go to the toy department and get the toy right then. My daughter looked at me and said, “I would not have gotten anything if I had acted like that, would I mommy?” I replied with “You got that right!” It was the most outrageous scene I have witnessed in a long time.

It is clear to see that the child has quickly learned that she will be rewarded if she just screams at her Grandma long enough. She has not been rewarded for good behavior but for naughty. So why would she behave? Continue reading “The behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated!”

Life’s Toughest Questions

In this society children seem to be growing up faster and faster. I often wonder how our children are really affected by the head knowledge of something they are not emotionally mature enough to handle. But how do we answer a child’s tough questions? Corrie Ten Boom shares this story about her father’s response to a tough question:

“Father, what is sex sin?” He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor. “Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?” he said. “It’s too heavy,” I said. “Yes,” he said. “And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.” And I was satisfied. More than satisfied – wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions. For now I was content to leave them in my father’s keeping. ~Corrie Ten Boom

Once the precious gift of innocence is lost, it is gone forever. I think Corrie Ten Boom’s father realized that and the wisdom of her story is something we can glean from. I believe our children can be satisfied with such a simple explanation. As Corrie said, she was content and at peace to know that her father was protecting her, and one day she would understand, but when she was ready.

My daughter, at 5, has asked questions that not only do I think she isn’t quite ready to understand the answers to, but that I sometimes do not even know the answers to myself. While my roots in God are strong, and I have first hand knowledge of His Love and goodness to me, I have had to ask some tough questions of my own. For example, when I have lost loved ones in tragic ways, I have asked “God, why did you let this happen?” While I have experienced God’s blessings and will always share with anyone what an unconditional loving God He is, I know there are so many things I may never completely understand of Him. But even when He does not answer my questions, I choose to be satisfied, and at peace that there are answers to all my hard questions, but for now I must leave them in my Father’s safe keeping.

Having the understanding of Corrie Ten Boom’s illustration, I explain that just as she trusts me to know what is best for her even when it seems unfair, she and I have to trust that our God loves us and although sometimes things seem unfair, He knows what is best for us. Even when that means not answering our questions for now.