I am not a perfect mother. I am not a perfect wife, and I am not a perfect woman. Big shock?! Yeah well, let me just go ahead and put it out there.
Have you ever had one of those days where you are great with the kids, seem to stay on top of the house work, your five year old cleans her room without being asked, dinner is on the table promptly at 5 pm, as hubby walks in the door. You have had a shower today, so you are looking great, and he notices. The children are well behaved little angels at the dinner table, tucking themselves into bed so you can relax this evening with your bubble bath (yep you get two baths) and candles and favorite magazine while your husband cleans the kitchen from dinner, because he is the world’s greatest husband…
Once, one time I had a day like that, maybe not even that good, but as close as it ever will be. Since every day can not go as smoothly as this one described, there are more days than not that our voices are raised more than they should be. Your 2 year old does not get adequately punished for hitting her sister, because if you have to put her in time out one more time and have her laugh at this concept, you are going to scream at the voice in your head, that sounds a lot like your mother, telling you “one day you are going to have a little girl just like YOU, and I am going to laugh.” Of course then your oldest is upset because she is being hit and has no resolution. The house is a wreck, even though you have cleaned 4 times today, your husband walks in the door, as you are headed out to an activity you volunteered for. As you walk out you inform him it is “Fend for yourself night” and the oldest has already picked out her cheese, crackers, and marshmallows for dinner. And you know what? You do not care, but are thankful to get in the car to have a few minutes alone. Sound more familiar?
Most days are somewhere in between these 2 days for us, and because I am not perfect I have had to learn the art of apologizing to my children. So many times we make them apologize for bad attitudes, being ugly to someone, and sassing us. Yet, how many times are we guilty of the same things. While to some this may seem like common sense, I am not sure it is for everyone. I remember watching sitcoms on t.v. where D.J. and her dad got in a fight, dad realized he was wrong and heads upstairs to have a wonderful daddy/daughter talk with lots of hugs at the end. I remember longing for that, but alas I usually fell asleep before anyone came in the room.
Saying you are sorry to your kids is important. We are teaching them that even as adults we will make mistakes, but that we strive to do better because we love them. They can handle your imperfection, they already know you are not perfect. Try admitting it and see how forgiving they become, and how much they respect you for living what you teach.
By the way, your kids never get to old to hear you say “I’m Sorry”.
Well, you, taught me that it’s okay to be wrong and then apologize, my christianity is not revoked, the world does not stop and begin to revolve counter clockwise and to embrace my humanity through grace.
Great entry girl.
PS Will there be more pictures of the dynamic duo any time soon?
This is such a good message! I have said “sorry” many times to my 9 month old daughter already! I can be busy on the phone or doing a chore and totally ignore her – to which I quickly say, “I’m sorry Alyssa.” The truth is that if they HEAR US say it, then they will also be quick to SAY IT! Thanks Angel for your honesty and for your heart! Your’re the best!
I can totally relate to this topic. I am remember a time when I was being ugly, and the Holy Spirit convicted me. I went and apologize to my son about what I said and explained to him that we have to mind our tongues at all times. I asked him to forgive me and we prayed and hugged. I think it is also so important to lead by example. Because in our culture our parents never said sorry to us and they would hurt us really bad with theirs words. I shudder at the thoughts sometimes. However, I did not want to repeat that with my children, so we do say sorry to them so, they will too understand and have mercy and be able to forgive others just as they want to be forgiven and have mercy on them. I too remember Full House eispodes and wishing for my mother to do the same.