Have you ever wondered about your personality, why you think so differently from your spouse? Even beyond the man/woman difference. Do you ever wish you could just figure out who you are and embrace it, instead of trying to be what others think you are?
Have you ever wondered what you would be good at, what are your strengths anyway? Before my husband Ben and I started dating, we were friends. He asked me to take this fun personality test. After giving you your personality it details you, to a pin point. He found out what type of wife, and mother I would be, and the strengths and weaknesses of my personality. What I found even more amazing is that it listed the healthy and unhealthy attributes of each personality. In other words, this is what a confident, secure, and whole individual with this personality would be like… and this is what an insecure, wounded, and broken individual person with this personality would be like.
I have found that knowing these things about myself, and Ben, has really helped me embrace who I am. I am not my sister. We think differently about so many things and that is o.k. We see the world totally differently, but neither are wrong. I can see the areas that are easy for my personality to slip into, the places I must guard against in order to stay a healthy, balanced person. It helps Ben and I relate to each other because we understand a little better how the other one thinks, and responds to things.
When you know yourself, then you can show others who you are, and they can appreciate it. When you know who you are and where your strengths are you can begin to find points of interest that fit you. For me this was so important, because I love so many things. However, it has allowed me to find the things I can truly be passionate about.
One thing I found about my personality is that I love to give to people; give of myself, give of my time, give in anyway I can afford to. Yet, I have to have boundaries otherwise I will give to my hurt and then resent others because they do not appreciate or reciprocate. Having boundaries, I only do things when I can give freely, freeing me from feeling taken advantage of, or thinking I was not appreciated, etc. It has taken me some time to be able to do this, but it has become very liberating.
Once you know your personality type, you can find all sorts of info about it on the internet. One test is based on the Meyer’s- Briggs Personalities. For instance, I am an ENFJ, this means I am an Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging (although that borders with perceptive for me). Ben is an INTP, Introvert, Intuitive, Thinker, and Perceptive. As you can see we are going to react differently to things, He thinks through things, and I feel my way through things. Which helps me not get so frustrated when we are faced with a situation and he shows no emotion, and it helps him when I am crying my way through things. It also helps me to understand why he is not like your husband, and can’t be compared. But I also know I can depend on his strengths to think through things, and the introvert is very private so he is like talking to a vault.
So if you want to know yourself, or your spouse a little deeper, or maybe you just want to know what you would be good at in life. What kind of spouse you are, or mother. Then here are a couple of great sites. They are free, and easy…
http://bloginality.love-productions.com/index2.php – The short version of the Myers-Briggs
I have two friends that just started dating. He’s an ENFJ and she’s an INFJ. It should be interesting to see how it turns out.
Another good resource for getting to know your spouse or intended is the Five Love Language books. I believe they are by Gary Smalley. There are ones for singles, couples and kids.
I have found this very helpful in knowing how to commicate love to my husband. If your spouse knows that you love them…then you can work most anything out. It’s all the approach that you use.