Yesterday I received an email from “the mom blogs” wanting my thoughts on the following news:
Woman Sues Doctor for Child-Rearing Costs After Failed Abortion
Wednesday, March 07, 2007BOSTON — A woman who had an abortion but still gave birth has filed a lawsuit against two doctors and a family planning organization seeking the costs of raising her child.
The complaint was filed by Jennifer Raper, 45, last week in Suffolk Superior Court and still must be screened by a special panel before it can proceed to trial.
Raper claimed in the suit that she found out she was pregnant in March 2004 and decided to have an abortion for financial reasons, The Boston Globe reported in its Wednesday editions.
Dr. Allison Bryant, a physician working for Planned Parenthood at the time, performed the procedure on April 9, 2004, but it “was not done properly, causing the plaintiff to remain pregnant,†according to the complaint.
Raper then went to see Dr. Benjamin Eleonu at Boston Medical Center in July 2004, and he failed to detect the pregnancy even though she was 20 weeks pregnant at the time, the lawsuit alleges.
It was only when Raper went to the New England Medical Center emergency room for treatment of pelvic pain in late September that year that she found out she was pregnant, the suit said.
She gave birth to a daughter on Dec. 7, 2004.
Raper and her lawyer, Barry C. Reed Jr., refused comment when contacted by the newspaper, and a spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood said the organization does not comment on pending litigation.
Massachusetts’ high court ruled in 1990 that parents can sue physicians for child-rearing expenses, but limited those claims to cases in which children require extraordinary expenses because of medical problems, medical malpractice lawyer Andrew C. Meyer Jr. said.
Raper’s suit has no mentions of medical problems involving her now 2-year-old daughter.
Oh, where to start.
Six years ago, I was pregnant. I was not married, and had really made a mess of things. While I had lots of people that loved me and supported me, I did not know how I would ever raise a child on my own. (My then 20 year old boyfriend was doing a little wiggin’) I had no education, except high school, and I saw mine and my child’s fate as living with my parents forever. So I was considering adoption. (Since I do not believe in abortion) At a random car wash waiting room, I struck up a conversation with a woman. She asked me how far along I was, and somehow I began telling her my story, and then she told me hers:
When she was sixteen she got pregnant. Her boyfriend disappeared, and her mother said her only option was abortion. THREE times she went to the abortion clinic, and each time the child would crawl into the girls ribcage and they could not perform the abortion. In about her sixth month, they went for the fourth time. For some reason the nurse asked her if she wanted to do an utra sound first. She agreed. Once she saw that baby, and was told the sex, a little boy, she could not do it. Her mother kicked her out, and at sixteen and pregnant she was on her own. She said for 3 years she worked to take care of the two of them, and got her GED. Five years from the time the child was born, she met a man. He was a Godly man, and he adopted her son. She went on to be a stay at home mom with her son and the children she had with her husband. At the time, her son was seventeen and headed for college. Showing me her pictures of her son, she told me that this boy was honor roll, and she had never had any trouble with him. Worked through high school, saving his money for college, talented musician, and loved his mama. He had been the light, and salvation, of her life…
And she was mine. See, I do not even know her name, and never will. But that was the day I decided to keep my daughter, and not a day has gone by that I regretted my decision. God has been faithful to me. Even before Emily was born her daddy wanted to be in her life, and mine. (Though I made him jump through a few hoops to get there. And he stepped up and became the man I always knew him to be. 😉 ) What seemed like the darkest time in my life, became a beautiful little girl that flipped my world upside down, and catapulted me into my destiny. With a husband who adores me and both of our daughters. A stay at home mom, helping to develop my girls into strong women of faith, who will go further than I ever could.
With that said, I know that this woman was angry that she had to walk out a fate she did not choose. But maybe God, not some doctor, said “No, this child has a destiny!” She obviously could not give the baby up for adoption. Which makes me ask, do you not think this child is a blessing? If so, you should be kissing that doctor for his screw up not suing him! And if she doesn’t think the child is a blessing, why did she keep her…Greed? UUGH! It makes my stomach hurt!
I want to end with this: Destiny is not something you are born with, it was on you even before the womb, and it is on this little girl. I hope her mother sees it.
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world.” (Jeremiah 1:5)
I hope Raper’s daughter grows up to have an Oprah destiny.
Have you ever heard Oprah talk about her mom? She hardly ever does, yet the Divine Miss O has gone on to become the greatest living example of what can come from nothing. She was the result of a one night stand, and because her mom did not have an abortion, she was given the opportunity to give her gifts and natural talents to the world causing a ripple affect that has changed lives world wide.
Oh, Angel. What a brave and smart choice you made. You allowed God to show you not only Emily’s destiny, but yours also. The world is a better place because you made the choices you have. I speak from experience of friend and adoptive mom.
Now this Ms. Raper needs to get a clue about the message she is sending to her daughter. Just in general the rejection issue and then not taking responsibility for your actions. Unbelievable!!!
I agree with Shay….I pray that this young girl turns out to be a model citizen and fulfills the destiny that God has meant for her.
A child’s destiny is my soap box…so I could go on for days about this issue. All 3 of my boys have come to me through destiny. God had to use some interesting vehicles to get them to me, but
like you Angel….I just had to listen.
I hope Ms. Raper gets out of the court room and into her daughter’s bedroom to help this young life discover her destiny.
Well, on the one hand I think we live in a world where we continue to push the delaying of (in effort to remove) consequences for our actions. So on the note of making doctors accountable for their services, I agree that it’s worthy of attention although I’m not sure the plan of attack is the best/right method. Mostly because the factors of the equation are blame game at best, and both sides display a level of desire to point a finger or have someone else be responsible for things that are painful or at least hard to bear.
On the other hand I disagree completely with the reason for the lawsuit to begin with. The problem with the “choice” of abortion to me is that it’s not the choice we’re talking about at all but rather the consequence of a choice made previously. Very few and rare are the cases where choice was not a factor in the steps leading to pregnancy and those cases are NOT the ones I’m talking about. It’s always amazed me how much energy is wasted debating the issue of personal choice/control in the matter when the whole situation is a consequence to begin with that resulted from the same agency of personal choice/control. This isn’t about choice, this is about consequence and avoiding accountability. We don’t get to choose our consequences, only the decisions that result in them. Anyone who believes otherwise is simply fooling themselves and maybe they’re successful at finding some immediate delays of consequences, but one day it will become quite clear that there is no rock big enough to hide under and it will be obvious that we didn’t dodge or remove any of the consequences of our actions at all.
I think the saddest message in the story is that there is such a thing as an unwanted child. In a world where thousands upon thousands of couples want, pray and jump through every hoop available to have a child – there is no such thing as an unwanted child. There are however a lot of disconnects and roadblocks between the two finding each other. What a horrible message to send to the 2 year old daughter. This is where God’s law of morality shows its great wisdom because the spirits waiting to come to this earth to gain a body have a right to come to a clean tabernacle free of detrimental affects from the bad choices of another. They have a right to be raised by loving parents. This little girl has every right to be loved, cherished and nurtured by parents who want her and have always wanted her. Every child deserves this. They are 100% innocent and don’t deserve the fall out that come from decisions they have zero control over. It’s not God’s way, it’s man’s.
I’m sorry for writing a book. My emotions on it are a bit raw today after spending all day yesterday trying to remove roadblocks for one very innocent baby. It’s just not right. Thanks for speaking up on it and thanks for sharing your story. It takes courage to share. 😉
Hugs,
Holly
Holly’s Corner
Blaming the doctors for her messed up life will not take her anywhere, it will just show how bad of a person she is to start with. Thsi is typical of someone angry at the system, a person who’s not honest with healthcare providers, misses inportant follow-up appointments and wnats the system to pay for their own mistakes (decisions and acts).
I hope she gets the boot!